Space in First entry

  • June 29, 2020, 10:08 p.m.
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  • Public

I’ve started back at the beginning. Realizing I failed the test miserably. I have to pull back. I have to just love you through this and remove the pressure. I wish you would just stop with looking at other houses. I wish you would just stop with tall of divorce. I’m trying. I’m working to give you the space you need. I’ve reached out to a few people to ensure I have some accountability and to keep me from going too deep into the darkness. I know that my reaction hasn’t been proper. I’m panicking and experiencing fear, feeling as if something has to happen to stop the wheel from moving closer to divorce or separation. My fear pushes you away and you push away to get space and the cycle continues. Realizing this, I will pull back. I wish you would stop looking. At least temporarily. By temporarily I mean more than a few weeks. Sort through the future. Watch me, I will be standing here loving you. I have not tried to just fix the things I have not done well. I have reevaluated my priorities and adjusted my behavior and processes to reflect those priorities. Im not telling you to believe me, but I am asking you to watch and see that change. Give me the time to show you. I can promise perfection, but I can show you over time. Just breathe.

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