So I tried out that makeup I bought today. It was a bad idea.
I just can’t seem to stop crying it off.
I’m okay, though. Good as I ever get. I shouldn’t be crying. Other than that time I missed my dad’s eggs, I can’t really think of anything except that I’m lonely (stupid dance class) and that I’m pissed (he will forget Valentine’s Day.) (But I bought him a present.)
I had therapy today. I cried right through it. Then I put the eye makeup on, so I’d stop crying. It did not help.
I should go put on some more. I still have to sit through creative nonfiction, and for some reason, what I really want is a nap. Probably because there’s been so much latenight TV, and not enough care. I need sleep. I also need a shower (skipped today) and probably some cuddling (I guess the kids could do that.)
But I also have to get all the papers together for next term. I need this internship, and then I need a job this term, and I’m half hoping that the professor who does the writing center wasn’t lying to make me feel better last term (he said I almost had it, try again this year, he’s hiring more people this year than he had space for last year.)
On the bright side, I wrote a little today. But on the shit side of that, I keep losing little snippets I know I wrote. For MSBC (magical bookshop cliche, who cares what order the anachronym is in) I know I wrote a passage from Griffin’s POV. I wrote it in the local sushi-burrito (which is way better than it sounds.) I liked it a bit. He was having trouble with his aunt, who is the fmc’s boss. He can’t figure out if it is because his cousin was stupid, she wants to rival him for head position, or if she’s just hiding something. He was about to find Rose a couch to pass out on. And then he’d vanish, ofc. But now it’s missing.
Also missing a section of this stupid fanfic where the couple is trying to bang it out and gets stage fright at one another. I remember it was adorable.
I still don’t think I’ll get over this pairing until she cooperates and makes him explain what the hell. But she won’t. We are now pretending this never happened. It doesn’t help.
It wouldn’t have happened at all if she’d just cooperated and played right. Now I haven’t got anyone to play with. Which, of course, sucks, because that’s my entire sex life.
Because I’m not sleeping with Boy Blunder. For crying out loud, he can’t even remember what you do to girls you say you love on Valentine’s Day. Bet you a quarter.
He won’t have gotten me anything. It will somehow be my fault. Never mind his ability to have cash on hand, his access to a car, or his having the same prep time for the holiday as EVERY other person ever…he will not have managed.
I will be expected to be understanding.
But I really think it sucks major ass.