Seeing Light... in These Foolish Things

  • Feb. 12, 2020, 8:53 a.m.
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  • Public

Two things keeping me sane right now: the promise from the weatherman for sunshine later this afternoon, and making little plans for Miami.

The rest is baloney. I can’t tell you the last time I’ve had the winter blues so badly. Coming out of the flu fog is one thing, but not seeing sunshine for days on end is another. I don’t know how people live in gloomy climates.

[Side memory: I spent a gloomy winter in Belgium years and years ago and that was dreary, but I also knew that it was not going to last and everything that happened during that winter was exciting and novel and wonderful - I was not working and in my 20s and playing and partying the whole time…my poor parents!]

But today! Today, the weather is predicted to be sunny later this afternoon. This morning is miserably cold with the kind of rain that soaks and chills you to the bone, but this afternoon, the sun is supposed to come out and spread its gloriousness all over the area! And I am SO excited about it that I brought my sunglasses to work and I’ve been wearing them on the top of my head in anticipation! Literally can’t wait for this to happen.

I do feel like I’ve lost a few weeks due to the Winter Blues. I’ve been holed up in my apartment waiting for the flu to pass then waiting for the rain to stop then waiting for the blues to subside. I have been sleeping longer and longer, which, on one hand is great because sleep is good, right? But in another way, I feel lethargic and just downright SAD and depressed and even doomsday. I feel unaccomplished and invisible.

It’s funny, because I don’t travel much for work anymore, that I’m so looking forward to going to the trade show in Florida in a couple of weeks and just making small plans for Miami afterwards (little day excursions and dinner plans) are keeping me looking forward to the end of the month and the first signs of Spring.

I’d invited a work friend of mine to join me in Miami after the trade show and she tried to make it work but wasn’t able to do it (I totally understand, but was a little bit bummed), so now I may see if Best Bud wants to join me (pretty sure she can’t), but I’m happy to go solo as well. You know how much I love solo travel too… always an adventure!

Last night I spent a little bit of time reading back through some old, old journal entries from the early 2000s when I had that rock star jet-setting job taking the corporate jet all over the country and exploring the WORLD for new business ideas…boy, those were the DAYS, weren’t they? I was young (in my 30s) and wild and a dating maniac. Life was good and I didn’t know it. I was SO VERY BUSY with travel and meetings and presentations and ahhhhh…I didn’t even have time to think about what I was doing.

Did I do things right? During that time of life, most people are settling down and having children and there I was, exploring the world and having wild flings… I wonder where I’d be right now had I settled down?

The good news is, I still have TONS of life left to live and I have so much to look forward to! I’m finally seeing a light at the end of this bleary, dreary tunnel and I truly do want to make the most of this year….

I got a new chance at life last year after my injury and I’m finally in a place where I feel almost 100% (still have the aneurysm that I have to consider, but it’s shrinking…) and it’s time to really start living again.

Making plans, making plans!

OK, off to a 2-hour meeting…
Looking up, people!!

Complicated Disaster February 12, 2020

I hope the sun shines for you soon!
I'm not into settling down but it would be nice to have someone to go on adventures with!

pandora February 12, 2020

I'm sure that people who are settled down are questioning why they didn't travel more, and others who traveled are questioning why they didn't settle down... life just shakes out as it does, and neither is right or wrong! Sounds like you had a lot of fun.

Sorry about the winter blahs. While cold and snowy up here, it's dazzlingly bright and sunny, which certainly does make a difference. Have you had your vitamin D levels checked? I always find that when mine get low, so do I!

Ginger Snap pandora ⋅ February 12, 2020

Good points - all!

Marg February 12, 2020

Well you could ask yourself - if you had the chance to do it all again would you do the same stuff or concentrate on the settling down bit?!
I hope the sun came out for you as promised!

Ginger Snap Marg ⋅ February 13, 2020

Right? Just like I told Plushcreep, I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything. I'm glad I have them. And I can make more!

Sun came out for like 10 minutes!

Marg Ginger Snap ⋅ February 13, 2020

Exactly. And a suitable partner can also come along at any age so there’s that :)

bobbi01 February 12, 2020

Come on Miami!

plushcreep February 12, 2020

If you were settled down now, you'd lament never jet-setting and having wild flings! Those sound like priceless memories. Don't beat yourself up; it's hard to live in the moment when you're're too busy doing just that (living) to focus on it.

Ginger Snap plushcreep ⋅ February 13, 2020

I am so sure you're right. I cherish those memories and look back and wish I'd stressed less and just enjoyed the moments more. I wouldn't trade those experiences for anything!

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