foreverloves
Entries 29
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Oh hi. Bye. in Part two.
I never got ‘into it’ here. It’s been years (literally) since I’ve written. I don’t think there’s anything to salvage. I have checked in from time to time just to follow a scarce few favorites....
Joshua's birthday. in Part two.
This weekend, my son turns five. Four days after that it will be two years since he ran into my arms out of the elevators in Pleven and we took him home. He is one of the most resilient childr...
Sometimes, I envision my daughter as an unruly body of water. If left alone, her banks would run over and she would spill on to the world, dysfunctional and lost. It’s a gross exaggeration but i...
First, I want to establish clearly that I stand against the idea that you cannot share pornographic images on prosebox. See? You think I’m kidding but I’m not. For the record: have I EVER shar...
domestic violence. in Part two.
The NFL and the domestic violence scandal is all over the news. People are filling twitter with hashtags such as #whyistayed or #whyileft. I know people - people right now, today - who are victi...
Marriage and kids. in Part two.
So I’m sitting here, watching my daughter refuse to eat her pop tart and playing her ipad, stressing over what to put her in for “picture day”, having just cleaned a shitty ass diaper from my son...
the differences. in Part two.
I. Never. Write. Here. And don't worry. I don't write anywhere. Soon I will need a place to write. I know I will. Things will happen and I will need a place to put them. But maybe it can't ...
So this site says I have 48 notifications in my bookmarks. But when I look, I have about a dozen. squeezes nose I give up. I don't think I follow enough people here. I have to do a better job...
because I don't have one. I miss the Other Diary and screw it, I just do. Stop telling me to like it here (nobody really is, I'm just randomly bitching) because I just don't. I want to write b...
unsuccessful. in Part two.
I was watching Return to Zero (google it). You can tell it was written by someone who lost a child. It's little things. It's the little details; symbols and rites that only those who have lost...
unraveled. in Part two.
Okay. I need to say this. And I'm pissing myself off, so just know that. I enrolled Chelsea in kindergarten this past week. Yes, the same girl who back in January was really "not ready" to go...
When I get sad. in Part two.
My kids are doing good. Life is...well, that's not what this is about. This is about when I get sad. I get sad when I ask my son if his diaper is wet or dry and he says yes but means no. Beca...
More updates. in Part two.
I don't like it here. Can you tell? I write so seldomly. I'm stuck in my ways. A week from today is my ten year wedding anniversary. It's a milestone that I didn't think I would make. No - R...
My kid is brilliant...and it kinda doesn't matter. in Part two.
Chelsea is really smart. I know; you think that's just the Mom-Me talking. Or you think "So what. Every kid is brilliant. My kid can...[insert thing here]. So what. Stop bragging." No. Lot...
Adoption update and Chelsea. in Part two.
So the two aren't related. And WTF happened to this text box? It just floats in space on my screen. I miss Open Diary. Dammit. So first, an adoption update. The website finally works. www....
Big, huge, gigantic news. in Part two.
So my dad is going to die, much sooner than I thought and sooner than I would like. His latest scans show cancer in so many places. Mostly in bone but some in soft tissue. This is the beginnin...
So I think my mind has just decided that I don't like this place. I don't like it. It's not really about the website, but because it's just not the Other Place. Or maybe I've just shot my load...
I fucking can't sleep. This entry is going to be littered with a lot of cursing. That was your warning. I don't want to write here. I miss the Other Place. It's 2:30 in the morning and I can...
unsatisfied. (joshua) in Part two.
Someone - well, a series of someones - asked for a Joshua update. Ask, and ye shall receive. I guess I'm a writing fool. Joshua. Joshua, Joshua, Joshua. He's really a sweet kid. He pushes...
what it all meant. in Part two.
I stayed up yesterday with a group of idiotic Open Diary folks (I mean that kindly :) ) and we watched as OD went dark yesterday. I got teary, and then I felt stupid. But then I reframed it for...
other updates. in Part two.
A tough habit to break. The kids are in bed, I have a few minutes...I thought, "I'll go update." And immediately, before I could reroute my fingers, typed "open diary". Wow. 13 years worth of...
from the same dna. in Part two.
This is probably going to sound strange, or even conceited, and I swear I don't mean it to be. But there are times that I honestly don't believe that all mothers are not like I am. I don't mean...
experience. in Part two.
I don't like this place. I know I keep saying that, but I don't. I am forced here by the death of the Other Place, and I have to get used to it. But I don't trust it and it doesn't feel safe a...
hyperactivity. in Part two.
I feel like I have to write something here, even though it feels wrong and blah and I don't like it and I don't feel like I can be totally open and yeah that was a total run on sentence so shut u...
This morning, we went to church. When church was over, there was this dumb lunch thing. If you know me, you know I really don't like people, I don't like to socialize, and I DEFINITELY don't ...
