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As part of self care, i put a little money on my credit card and bought a groupon for an hour massage and an hour at a local spa-type place. It’s definitely more hippie-like, clothing optional wi...

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24-48 hours later is when the raw sets in, my therapist Bill says. Last session i headed straight to Mojo’s and we hiked/walked 4 miles around Mt. Tabor and ended up eating raw oysters. This time...

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A happy entry, first. Then the harder stuff. Over the past 9 months since i met and fell in love with Jamie, i’ve dated on and off- though nothing serious. There have been play dates for fun sexy...

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Monday was tough. I felt fragile and thought i might not make it though work. I did, though. I spent both Saturday and Sunday night with my love, and it helped. I’ve told him what i have been exp...

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Today my TRE went in a different direction. My right arm felt like it was being pulled out of its shoulder joint. I lay there, later on after some meditation, and I had vocalizations that remin...

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Please, as a warning, there is triggering content in this entry. I will talk about child sexual abuse later on, after the bold text. Please feel free to read before then, if you want. Here i sit...

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That’s all i can say for now. I hate that my first reaction to any distressing emotion is to cry. I feel foolish. So, i sat in a meeting with the principal, assistant principal, school psycholog...

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After three nights of dark dreams where i thought i was the cause of death, i realized that was just my perception. I was not the cause, just attached in some way. Dream #1, the saddest- I g...

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Slowly ive cut out NPR and podcasts, instead listening to calm chanting and what youtube calls “meditation music.” All the talking was too much in my brain. So much information that i may enjoy l...

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Life happens, of course. I am sitting here in my new classroom, the 4th in 5 years, working with 5th graders instead of 7th and 8th graders. I love it. They are so sweet, very receptive to positi...

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Its been so long since i’ve written. The other day i gave my love a little gift, just a card game we played during a weekend in Seattle. It was after his 50th birthday and i did not feel it was e...

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Two entries in one day because i did not write The Lobster up when is saw it almost a month ago. I saw Hunt for the Wilderpeople last night. It was written and directed by Taika Waititi, who is f...

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Yorgos Lanthimos is a Greek director who has also directed a couple other quirky films, Dogtooth and Alps. This is probably considered a black comedy and is centered on a world where people are r...

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Today I lock in my (historically low, so ive heard) 3.625% home loan. The appraisal came in higher than my offer on the house, which is just super. It came in at 217k, and my loan is 209.5k (afte...

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Yesterday i walked to the local farmer’s market to pick up a locally made Portland gift for my boyfriend’s wife’s mother (who then was taking or sending it to the southern US). I was chatting wit...

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I have a lot to pour out. The last few days have been trying, and pushing the boundaries of brings me to that dark turn of mind (lyrics written by Gillian Welch). At least now i can see the trigg...

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The bell just rang for all students to depart. This has been my favorite school year so far. I celebrated my 8th graders moving on to high school, knitted them little bookmarks as a small gift. I...

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Last night i had a surprise date, and i am sorry to say- and i need to be honest- told a lie about why i couldn’t go on a previously scheduled date. It’s one of those things i need to work on and...

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Today is the last full day of school, though very little academics have been happening this week (much less the past 6 weeks since state testing started). All my meetings are done, official speci...

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I wrote such an explicit entry that i had to place it in a private book, but here is a (somewhat tantalizing, though edited) version of that entry: I am so excited about Kyle PTM (Portland-Techie...

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italics indicate tmi (somewhat) sexual content Friday i started an entry, but just ended up deleting it a second ago. Its nice to start an entry that is just stream of consciousness blather. not ...

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Slightly explicit content in italics later on Just another song lyric, revisiting a 1990 album i discovered at the beginning of my (first attempt) at college in 1995. Edie Brickell and the New Bo...

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with state testing underway (this is our third week), i have been prolific with my writing. and, i need it right now. i think i have never been so ready to be done with a school year as i have be...

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Jeff Nichols has also directed 3 other independent films, two of which i have seen: Mud (starring Matthew McConaughey) and Take Shelter (starring Michael Shannon) and one i have not: Shotgun Stor...

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Not the movie :) All I want to do, as I lay here wrapped in purple down comfort, is stay. In quiet. Alone. Warm. Protected (From what? By whom?) Feeling a little off, a little down. Not sure why,...

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