The First Life
by shespeaksmetaphors
Entries 72
Page 2 of 3
Fear
It’s hard to close my eyes. My heart races..feels heavy against my chest. I go from melting, To telling myself to pull myself back up. Don’t get dizzy, don’t spin… Neither of us have time. I ...
Undeniable and distance
For days I thought about how he looked at me. How he isn’t the ocean now, but something else. Maybe mountains. Unmoving, and not scaleable. Still distant. Just different. A new kind of unrea...
Loss
Woke up under a beat. The left side of the bed stays colder than mine. It’s been almost a full week. Time works differently now. My brain has had time to rest from patterns of thought. Memori...
Buzz
A sense of restlessness has ended. Like…that momentary silence between snowstorms. I hate the cold. It has always done well by me, though. I’ve been looking at my life differently now. My l...
Want
Sometimes we are meant to have certain people in our life. Sometimes, our life is just not ready yet. If your soul nags you every day, walking from house to house, knocking on doors. If it ...
Keep your eyes open
The sun was up earlier. My head heavy with sleep. Heart full, but still longing. I keep seeing his eyes. Feeling his hand on my face, my chest. Wondering how his lips still taste the same....
Cuts
I wish I knew where to begin. My mind keeps flipping through pictures Running like a broken reel Slow I think fear takes a lot out of me. When two lost souls reconnect, It’s almost as terrif...
Not a dream
There were things I forgot… Like how the tips of his ears are always pink. How his hands moved. They way his hair felt. I didn’t forget the shape of his head. Smile to one side, and that line ...
Middle space
I’m in this middle space. It’s… been odd. Tied to high hanging hopes, But grounded with ambition. The blinds and curtains have been torched. White walls soaking light. My heartbeat sings and...
Home
I’ve been laying here, eyes open, wondering if now is the time to lay these words out. My head is spinning, but I think my heart knew. There he was with a smile that hasn’t changed. A lightne...
There's a world out there in the darkness
Today is a weird day. I feel disconnected. I need to take a break from this. Ive been clinging here desperately. Like I’m getting to say the things I need to say. They just aren’t going to t...
Filling my cup
My head has been so full. And I’ve felt incredibly alone lately. But not lonely. I need to get out. When life allows again. I’m fixated. I recited a day in 2011 today. Played it like a film in...
Story I didnt write.
If words were strings… I’d be swinging low from them. Holding on with burning fists. Legs tangled between. I keep my jaw tight. My teeth are the guards that hold the gate shut. That keep the...
Present
I can barely hold my eyes open. I’ve neglected sleep too often lately. Stay awake to imagine things. Pleasant…and some not so. The light stains my eyes. It’s hard to see. The dark is so so deep...
Voice
Things have been surreal. Life is taking some extremes and throwing them my way. I sat in a room with people that fill my heart. People that are family made of sweat and not blood. Everyone w...
Pills
The first time someone prescribes you pills. It’ll feel like you’re broken. I can’t fix this part of my brain. Maybe these little hard white lumps can. Maybe I’ll stop repeating. Stop dreamin...
Freeze
When I spend myself physically, I lose the energy to push away the things that plague my soul. I fell down. Had to drive through that old town. Every time I drive those roads, I see him in th...
Changes aren't easy.
Things are changing. This summer turned autumn and I’m still going. Shifting with the season and making last minute decisions to let my leaves fall. My mind has been pretty blank. I’m not held...
Wandering Soul
Keep your mind in the company of positive thought. It’s incredibly easy to slip. Let one foul mood feed another, and then another. Until your sadness has its belly gorged. Slimy and bursting a...
Are you there?
Almost broke.... Words seemed too close. The soul in the voice felt like it was mine. I have to remember it is not. I felt fingertips running across my skin like they were trying to find a poin...
Blank Gaze
Eyes of acknowledgment. My purgatory. Each smile just teasing the corner of the mouth. Polite and dry. I feel like I’m in grade school. Deep within myself and on the other side of the chain li...
Hardcovers, dead wires, and etched lines
It was dark and I was searching. My feet were moving, my thoughts on repeat. The same lines kept cycling. Stuck in a pattern. If I keep going I might let go. I watched each fence post rush by. ...
Let me be wind.
Far from home. Acceptance is easier here. The tides have been heavy. Waves crashing and rolling and white. I jump in headlong. The saltwater rushes in my nose, out my mouth. I choke, coughi...
Soul spilling and insanity
It started with a picture. Some words that were once mine. And, of course, a dream. I once feared parting as if it were in my being to fear it. Like it was written in my soul. I was afraid, near...
Explode
Capped. Head wound tight around my neck. It’s hard to breathe Harder to think Heart dissolving in emotional bile A chain reaction with nowhere to go. We look up Catch a breath while no one is ...
Book Description
All the rants and rambles that add up to be my life on the daily.
I try not to be typical and boring, but life can be just that..
I’ll try to document a lesson with each step here.