Entries 3,460

Page 84 of 139

1.) I’ll believe superheroes can fly, I’ll believe film characters can time-travel, I’m no stickler. But despite the fact I’m sure there’s some off-hand reason for why 2040 kids would be nostalgi...

---

1.) Unless there’s some twist to it the trailers don’t show, that new Amy Schumer flick about a good looking woman who isn’t good looking in movie world suddenly believing she’s conventionally su...

---

1.) Often, the song I will sing to Felix and Ollie is to the tune of the Cheat Commandos theme in the “Homestarrunner” cartoon and it’s just “Good CAT and ADEQUATE Dog! Good CAT and ADEQUATE Dog!...

---

1.) Before enlightenment, you must go to the well every morning for water. After enlightenment, you must go to the well every morning for water. Before grief, you must go to the well every mornin...

---

1.) Your Rage Against The Machine cover band that reinterprets them all as James Taylor-esque soft rock will be called Beige Against The Machine. It will be… terrible. 2.) Your movie about a poss...

---

1.) Leave it to the fake president to find someone more goddamned evil than Amazon to make them look sympathetic in comparison: himself. 2.) HOT TAKE: “Hearty” tomato soups with big chunks of tom...

---

1.) Scars aren’t where you were weak. Scars are where you overcame. 2.) Some day I’mma finish my musical about Jesus fighting crime in KITT from Knight Rider called JESUS CHRIST’S SUPERCAR. 3.) I...

---

1.) As my mind is strewn with garbage, I often wonder about Mork. Living in late ‘70s Denver, did he ever go check what happened to the ‘50s Milwaukee Happy Days gang? He never mentioned it, it m...

---

1.) All of the Avengers Infinity War trailers make me sing “Teenage Groot-ent’s Handheld Console, TEENAGE GROOT-ENT’S HANDHELD CONSOLE, TEENAGE GROOT-ENT’S HANDHELD CONSOLE! SORT OF LIKE NINTENDO...

---

1.) There are many stupid things in the world that cause active harm, that are cruel, hurtful, greedy, destructive. They are all worse than meaninglessly stupid things. However, John Sterling’s h...

---

1.) Did “Ready Player One” finally overload nostalgia-for-nostalgia’s-sake? It looks so empty and masturbatory. Will the sequel just be a bunch of people talking about how much they liked the fir...

---

1.) Look, I agree with Sanders on about 90% percent of things but is there anything more tone-deaf than saying “hey, let’s run an 80 year old white guy out there in 2020 whose followers allowed V...

---

1.) The Little Dutch Boy really thought he could stop the flood, the dam fool. 2.) A version of the Fantastic Four where instead its The Velvet Underground that gets the powers instead, just for ...

---

2.) Before you mourn the passing of an “old economy” business for reasons of changing markets, research if it was actually just debt-riddled by the leveraged buy-out by a vulture capitalist holdi...

---

1.) When all you’ve got to smear the March For Our Lives kids with is to intentionally pretend you’re confusing the solidarity fist with the Nazi salute, what you are saying is “I admit my argume...

---

1.) Make the world’s trendiest new craft beer by just mixing a half pound of dried hops into a pint of rubbing alcohol. 2.) Psychic visions of your future Twitter timeline are called “premoji”. 3...

---

1.) I will never get over the decades of conservatives yelling about hating the “coastal elites” and then throwing all their chips behind a living collection of stereotypes of a rich guy from New...

---

1.) Sometimes I look at the infomerical “star” Chef Tony and wonder if he is the product of a failed attempt at cloning Jesse “The Body” Ventura, rendering the clone much nicer but just as crazy ...

---

1.) If someone named Suzanne started a gluten-free bakery, it could be “Sue’s Pseudo-Dough” and Phil Collins would have to write its jingle. 2.) I’m sorry your parents were murdered after a scree...

---

1.) Apathy is funda-MEH-tal. 2.) It seems like the monsters are the ones who always push a “when you fight monsters, you become them” narrative to try & stop you from fighting monsters. FIGHT...

---

1.) I am reasonably certain that these Windows 10 updates don’t change anything, just prompt your computer to try and sell you on Microsoft Edge like no one in the world wants, yet again. 2.) Com...

---

1.) It’s no coincidence the fake president rose to fame buying casinos with his inheritance & hosting sham gameshows. People like Trump or Putin or Hitler, they only win because they cheat, b...

---

1.) I still say you could’ve cleaned up with a Scotland-themed tag-team of wrestlers called Natural Born Kilters. 2.) The rabbit hoped it could hide down in that hole forever but it was living on...

---

1.) You could mash-up YOU’RE SO VAIN and YEAR OF THE CAT so seamlessly, you’d just think it was one or the other. 2.) There are probably better ways to promote your salon than advertising “perm s...

---

1.) I love how the news is trying to scare folk like “Juuling!” is a new thing sweeping the nation. “ARE YOUR KIDS JUULING?” When it’s, like, a slightly stronger form of the vaping everyone’s bee...

---