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Page 135 of 139

1.) The particular way you piss on a Jack Chick booklet is your urinary tract inflection. 2.) I'm astonished Doritos has never done the Star Wars promo flavour "Skywalker Ranch". 3.) Mash-up id...

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1.) A "Reunited And It Feels So Good" parody about a pyromaniac? "Reignited" and so forth? 2.) Rob Ford is a shining example of how many second-chances you get when you have the privilege of a f...

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1.) And then, of course, there is Rand Paul's jazz album BIRTH OF THE CRUEL. 2.) Driving for hours w/ the FM dial on scan simulated my natural thought process but I finally heard the "Happy" son...

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1.) I ought to name a poetry collection "How To Survive A Lightning Strike" someday without any connection to the actual poems. 2.) The Inevitable Destinyman. 3.) His mutant power was total mas...

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1.) A cafe for Canadian Trekkies called "Tim Horta's". 2.) "I Want You To Want Me" parody about someone with a ghost fetish? "I Want You To Haunt Me"? 3.) Driving west Steely Dan came on & ...

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1.) Using my inability to sing well is the Meg White that brings the Jack White of my being a decent parody writer into high relief. 2.) Maybe we can make lemonade out of the lemons of net-neutr...

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1.) Gamer rap lyrics are all like "EMULATORS! Moooooooount up." 2.) So, essentially, Jay Gatsby was driven mad by his desire to join the Green Lantern Corps. Gotcha. 3.) Theocracy: unsafe at an...

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1.) When I watched Star Wars as a kid I was the only one who wanted to be the wishy-washy hero not the mysterious jerk. It tells my whole story. 2.) I can no longer look at the old DICK TRACY mo...

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1.) The tension between expressing your honest self & marketing yourself to be seen/heard is a goddamned nightmare, esp in matters of the heart. 2.) It's the untold story of the industrial e...

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1.) A version of The Wizard of Oz that ends up in the Emeril City. 2.) Social networking is the art of mnemonic possession. 3.) Look I think a lot of our problems come from ending Reconstructio...

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1.) Dreams are just a remix/of your life by the DJ in your head/but the tracks are sometimes so mashed-up/it seems a different thing instead. 2.) If only government whistleblowers all went by po...

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1.) Japan predicted the entire internet when it invented pornographic cat girls. Good job, I... think? 2.) Look, as long as snow doesn't stick to the road and melts in the morning, it isn't real...

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1.) Right-wing rancher jackoffs can steal grass for their cattle from public land but we can't camp out at Zuccotti? #OWS 2.) Yeah, it's a rub but it's a DRY rub. 3.) Yeah, it's a hump but it's...

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1.) When folks tell me to get my ass in gear I wanna tell them "you'll have to manipulate my stick shift to make it happen". 2.) RPers, it is your job to play a Klingon halfling and call him Dwo...

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1.) She said the way he cleared his throat was gross. He said that, rather, the hills were alive with the sound of mucus. 2.) My new invention puts three little shadows in the lower right eye of...

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1.) Because of course a show about gold mining in cold places would be on a channel called ANIMAL PLANET? 2.) So here's my idea for a trending topic for Palm Sunday. #facepalmsunday 3.) The les...

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1.) The best place for a quick Passover meal in the Midwest is, of course, Seder Rapids. 2.) He hates the HELL out of the Oz Renaissance Faire, just because they're always saying "How about a li...

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1.) Let us now start referring to privileged libertarian "thinkers" telling people why the poor should stay poor as "Aynsplaining". 2.) Of course Henry Kissinger is a Yankees fan. Of course he i...

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1.) If you get a D.F.A. in modern literature, does that give you a license for deconstructive surgery? 2.) How was "A Haunted House 2" not a January dump film? How bad were the other films to ge...

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1.) Is a washed-up fratboy a Has-Bro? 2.) In a production office, the chicken Pad invariably ends up with the PA because the Thai goes to the runner. 3.) "In a fight club with black curtains, d...

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1.) More like Werthers UNORIGINALS, AMIRITE?! 2.) What I like most about the dog is that when I prattle on endlessly he's nice enough to wag his tail and pretend to listen. 3.) It's a Zelda gam...

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1.) I don't look like a James Dean/True Blood muscle-twink like TV tells women they're supposed to want but it doesn't make me any less awesome. 2.) I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterd...

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1.) I'm nowhere near perfect but I got a lot of awesome to give, going to waste when there's no one to share it with, I suppose. 2.) Skeletor is my spirit animal. 3.) They knew WWF marks though...

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1.) 3AM thought: someone at Disney heard the phrase "Herpes The Love Bug" changed one consonant & made it into a kids movie about an alive car. 2.) Has there been a pregnancy couture boutiqu...

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1.) Flight 370 was a tragedy because of the lives lost but how is the continuing search still a huge story? Just residual conspiracy BS? 2.) Do we even know the difference between culture & ...

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