Entries 3,460

Page 125 of 139

1.) Bono is the anti-Bowie, constantly changing to be completely uninteresting in new and different ways. 2.) Expectant mothers: name your child Bad News so you can forever be known as the bearer...

---

1.) In the Tea Party adaptation of Hamlet, they’re all “get thee to a gunnery!” 2.) My favourite Peanuts/60s-70s revolutionary mash-up would definitely be Peppermint Pattie Hearst. 3.) The horse ...

---

1.) Next they’re gonna say Hilary killed the Easter Bunny and refer to it as “Bunghazi”. 2.) In scifi, they make giant vegetables seem world-saving but they’d still require as much water and mine...

---

1.) You have no idea what it is like to have a laptop that can be off the cord for more than two minutes again. It is like living in the future. 2.) Edit an action movie so every gunshot sound is...

---

1.) Whenever an entertainer says “don’t interrupt I’m sharing my gift with the audience” unironically, immediate 72-hour psych hold. 2.) Didja ever notice that whatever bad traits bigots project ...

---

1.) No man is an island. Except ol’ Joe Krakatoa, of course. 2.) Yes, it is the journey not the destination but only if you’re always trying. If you give up, the journey gives up on you. 3.) “If ...

---

1.) The Fog of Worf. 2.) Mash up 1: Fleetwood Mac YOU MAKE LOVIN FUN vs Dire Straits MONEY FOR NOTHIN 3.) Mash up 2: BLUE ON BLACK vs FEEL LIKE MAKIN LOVE 4.) Mash up 3: MOONDANCER vs TAKE FIVE 5...

---

1.) I’m taking back stubble. No longer will stubble be curated fashion choice, again it will mean you don’t have steady work to shave for. 2.) My inability to shut my mind off isn’t a bug, it’s a...

---

1.) For a man of my generation “never pretended to like Dave Matthews in an attempt to have sex” is a resume-worthy accomplishment. 2.) Debate club sounds a lot cooler if you call it “fallacy foo...

---

1.) I’m full of surprises. And peanut butter. (The surprise is how MUCH peanut butter!) 2.) The best thing about One Direction is they’re SO not threateningly masculine that they’re stealth pro-l...

---

1.) Gettin’ in an Uber rip-off, bein’ all “DO YOU EVEN BRO, LYFT?” 2.) The son in MR. MOM did it all for the Woobie. 3.) Nixon sent men to the moon just so he could put a note in the flagpole say...

---

1.) The feminine of the Minotaur is the Clitaurus. You can find her after a heroic search through the Labiarynth. 2.) Sonic The Hedgehog on Deviantart is the blackhole’s event horizon of human di...

---

1.) This is the secret code. Ask them “are you a time-traveler watching my rise to glory?” If they say “no” that’s their code word for “yes”. 2.) Fiction can tell truths in places fact fears to t...

---

1.) There are only five words in “Saint Elmo’s Fire”. “Ba” “da” and “Saint Elmo’s Fire”. 2.) Whenever the term “basic bitch” is thrown around I wonder if there is an “acidic bitch” & if they ...

---

1.) Had a dream where I was part of a 70s B-movie-style heist but afterward most of my take turned into crude & obvious forgeries. 2.) I’m still kind of disappointed that Vanilla Ice & Pa...

---

1.) “That exterminator is KILLING it!” 2.) I am extraordinarily lucky that while I’m dealing with the fact that my surgery stitches popped and I have to be packed with gauze now, I’m supremely lu...

---

1.) My “type” is smart girls, it just SEEMS like crazy girls maybe, because this jerk world tries to drive the smart girls crazy. 2.) You’re only one “r” away from “Chocolate Larva Cake” y’know. ...

---

1.) At a comic book shows, refer to your hands as “Hunk Hands”. Go around claiming “Hunk Smash… the walls around your heart.” 2.) It’s about young superheroes during the French Revolution, it’s c...

---

1.) Kiss me, I’m irate. 2.) Having one or two great ideas isn’t a thing. Anyone can do that. If you can generate lots of ideas, some good, you’ll be what’s valued. 3.) So when you get a Timehop p...

---

1.) Joining the Mile High club while landing can get you charged with in-descent exposure. 2.) Libertarian Inhumans read “Attilan Shrugged” a lot. 3.) Really, the only technically valid status up...

---

1.) Agents of C.H.A.R.D. 2.) Unbreakable Kim-chi Schmidt 3.) Outlarder 4.) The Carbonara Effect 5.) Rick and Meaty 6.) Quantum Leek 7.) The Tom Greens Show 8.) American Banana Stand

---

1.) 3/15 isn’t Pi Day but it is the area code where I live. Must count for something. 2.) Just like a genetic super-mutant, bringing death rays from your eyes to a knife fight. 3.) The computer g...

---

1.) When the borders of a homeland mean more than the welfare of its people, oh man. Both are lost. 2.) All youtube Let’s Players should have to occasionally turn on the autoclosed captions and r...

---

1.) A traumatic experience with Roy Rogers’ horse lead to a need for Trigger trigger warnings. 2.) Kirk was all like “Kobayashi Maru? More like BLOWMEashi Maru, am I right?” Kirk was a smug littl...

---

1.) Though Snoop popularized trolling white people by pretending Dr. Seuss word were cool slang, “fleek” was the troll masterstroke. 2.) I demand an ear nose and throat doctor who is a giant talk...

---