Entries 307
Page 6 of 13
maybe they're right. maybe there is something the matter w/ me.
I jut don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad. no I know how. I just don't like it. copied from my FB: 'and maybe i'm not ready to surface. it means i'll have to brea...
if he wanted to get at me. he would've by now. *on my ex*
yeah so last Sept. I shot him an email stating that if he wanted to get coffee or lunch or w/e let me know. I told him i'd moved and I told him about Pat's um. having died and that was it. And h...
cutting. and drinking.
yeah so like I said. I cut for 10 yrs. haven't in a yr. and 4 months. it just. it wasn't me any more. I stopped cause whenever I did it I actually got too emotional. just another way of avoiding ...
so. i wish i trusted myself.
but I don't. nor do I trust others, really. back when I was cutting [oh. yeah so I cut for 10 yrs. and haven't in a yr. and 4 months. doesn't mean I haven't wanted to. more on this in an upcomin...
Goals
So. I don't think I've ever written about this. At least a yr. ago Jessica [again, she's my. mentor] and I - well ok she did - came up w/ this thing of. weekly goals. which was each wk. to do so...
I had that w/ Pat.
So, the past......10 yrs. [well almost. i'll be 27 this month. and also. fuk has it been 10 yrs. already?] I haven't had a good relationship w/ my dad. I mean we get on and everything but we're n...
it's like a part of me is missing. since. it happened.
it's not a breakup since we're not together. er we weren't. rather. but it feels like a part of me's missing since. things changed. I feel. incomplete. yes bc I gave myself to him. and no not...
yeah so the other day the ladies & I were talking. and I go "I like Trixie better cause she doesn't run away from people" [Trixie's one of the kitties. she's blind and was a product of inbree...
I have an icon now yay!
my um. profile pic thingy. It's a pic from our [my family and I that 'us'. for the longest time I couldn't remember the word 'our'] recent holiday in Disney. I think it's one of my better ones. ...
this whole. scheduling thing is really getting to me.
So at my house we have: Jenn, Kristina, Stephanie, Christopher and myself. Jenn and Kristina work from 9 - 2 at a pizza place. Jenn just started up again. like last wk. or something. Christopher...
so i don't want her cooking for me. and. it's too hot.
not my sister I mean. Stephanie the lady i'm living w/. I know it's weird i'm stating this given that. 77F is cold to me. but it's too hot to cook. Even though aside from my room the rest of the...
so i think my sister used to do pot
but I don't know. I mean I don't like. care or anything. yeah so on Wed. when we're coming back from the mtns. [my god it's cold up there] I ask her what she remember about that night [the night...
sleep, or lack thereof, tornado sirens and temp. jumps
So I woke up 20 mins. ago. It's now 1:20. I don't really feel like I've wasted half the day when I get up at 12:30, 1 at my house but I do at my mom's. But then, I'm actually allowed to go places...
it hit me again last night. still feel like an outsider.
Ya know. My roommates are nice. to me and in general. they're cool. But Jenn and Stephanie are related. And Kristina's Jenn's best friend. she's been living here for 3 yrs. I'll never have that ...
don't play games w/ me *evan thing again*
cause that's the most interesting part of my life right now. [no it is]. yeah so. he's told me twice he doesn't know how long it'll be before we see each other again. I might just be looking for...
so. we're not in love. but i want to be.
Ya know. We're [evan and i i mean that 'we'] not in love. I mean yes we do love each other.......in the way you love a very good friend. and we're always telling each other 'I love you'. [actuall...
so. he's become slightly clingy. but not by much.
yeah. i'm bitching again. I do that a lot apparently. funny thing is my mom doesn't think I do. cause I don't around her. yeah so evan. he's becoming slightly clingy. actually this isn't really ...
so now i'm in shock. and denial. *on the evan front*
which well I was before due to health news. this doesn't happen to me. I don't have my heart broken twice in almost 2 yrs. no of course not.
yeah so I slept 10 hrs.
and I don't feel like I didn't get enough sleep. You'd think, if someone had slept more than 8 hrs. they'd feel overtired. You know the feeling. where you wake up all overtired and emotional. ye...
Ya know. if he wasn't such a nice guy. but damnit. he is.
right so as put. Ya know. if he wasn't such a nice guy..........then I wouldn't feel so er I mean. [I put 'so towards' and then deleted it. like wait. that doesn't make sense. um]. I mean. then ...
and we were just starting to get together
This is why it makes me sad. is cause we were just starting to get together. just like Pat & I. Pat & I got together for 4 months [well. we knew each other for that long] and then almost ...
Ya know. I don't want to let him I go I never have. the truth is my bonds w/ my other friends my other close friends - Susie, Lane, Mark - aren't as close as they should be. could be. they never ...
omygod. yeah so here's the Evan news. well like I put we didn't break up since well we're not together. but it feels like we did. we're, taking a break. he's gotta get back on his feet [he has f...
yeah so i'll be 27 soon. and birthdays.
yeah so like I put i'll be 27 soon. i really don't want to be 27. 2 reasons A: all the greats died at 27. Morrison, Joplin, Hendrix, Cobain and uh.........someone else. omygod who was it? and 2:...
it is so cold. and hypothermia. *ED*
Ok so before I start i'ma state that i'm anorexic. [well we knew that]. I've been for um 13 yrs. [i'm 26 btw i'll be 27 this month]. and so my anorexia has led to osteopenia [which really has not...
