Entries 35

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I just awoke from such a surprising and beautiful dream. I was at a weekend workshop–a Catholic weekend workshop–and there were countless people there from the Catholic Campus Ministry at JMU. ...

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K: I want you to know I’m really working with anger a lot right now and I need a lot of room for it. I tried to bring it to my NVC Practice Group last night and it did not go well, which amplifi...

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It has been a long time since I have written in a journal, and longer since I made it a regular habit. I’m about to enter into a new and important chapter in my life, as I prepare to move to Bou...

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I’m feeling stuck and stagnant, having an unconquerable level of distraction and an inability to focus on anything I need to be doing at work. Things contributing to this place I’m in: ~Kathy’...

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“Perhaps the most tragic thing about building a self around competence is that it leads to empty disconnect. You are a complex and dynamic living being. Any attempt to build a one-dimensional, ...

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I really shouldn’t be doing this right now because I don’t have time. I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know where to find the space I’m wanting. I spent this weekend on a mindfulness retrea...

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Dear Robert, Gratitude is too small a word. This one small expression holds much. In my gratitude is held the many times you have reached out and held my hand when I was in pain, and you saw me....

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This racing heart. I have been working on it. I have been steeping myself in support. In practice. In counseling and meditation, NVC practice (aka group therapy) and time with friends. I ha...

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It creeps in. The subtle grief behind my eyes. I’m not trying to shut it out, but the nature of my busy day-to-day often pushes it off to a different place. It has been living somewhere not qu...

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Last night, he texted: “There’s one thing I’ve requested, and I don’t ever need it from you. If you’re interested and capable, you may let me know. I’m starting to think you are unwell. This is ...

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Sage advice from Kathy. Separation. It is so hard to just cut it off. I went a full week without contact, and in that time had all of the feelings. The sadness and mourning and grief, the ang...

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I’m so tired this morning. And I woke up feeling kind of resentful and pissed off. Which seems odd at first, because everything wrapped up beautifully and in a sweet place last night. And we d...

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There are some very cool things happening in my life on all fronts right now, but the one I want to talk about today (because I have a meeting about it tomorrow and need to get my head clear) is ...

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“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. When the soul lies down in that grass, the world is too full to talk about. Ideas, language, even the phras...

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I have been feeling like I’m in the middle of a storm cloud for a week now, and it just won’t lift. It will eventually. But for now… One contributing factor is that Hoopie no longer wants to be...

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Off and on, I listen to the Tim Ferriss Show podcast. It’s interesting, but since I discovered it when I was living in Bolivia, I really go back and forth on being into it, and then not. I’m no...

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Sitting in my hotel room, knowing you are coming to pick me up in the next 20 minutes so we can finally talk, my heart is skipping. But what is it that needs to be said? Thank you? Goodbye? P...

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From the minute I landed back in Ibaraki, I have felt overwhelmed with a sense of homecoming. Dear friends, acquaintances, and even shop owners I knew during my time here, have given me the warm...

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These past few weeks have been relatively stable, after what seemed like months of ups and downs. However, once again, I’ve stepped onto the roller-coaster. There is a family thing that is goin...

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First of all, I was never molested, raped, or sexually assaulted. I just want to make that clear. All of my life up until I’ve been living in Bolivia, I have had, for the most part, very positi...

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I’m in it again. The dark. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m not entering into some kind of clinical depression, the way this comes on so easily. What was it this time? Not sure. It started cree...

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Ugh. I have a cold and stomach trouble this week, and the cold just finally hit me full force this morning. The whole deal–sneezes, runny nose, headache, sore throat. It’s awesome. In other ...

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I am such a weird dark awful place at this moment, and it’s completely absurd. Clarie is leaving on Saturday, and so tonight, we had her “despedida” or goodbye party. It was absolutely lovely. ...

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I am in and out of a funk, and I really know that it’s up to me to get myself to a better place. So I listened to Tara Brach today (she is wonderful), and it really hit on something that’s at th...

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I woke up from a dream that brought up a lot for me. I dreamed that I was living in Portland with Katie, and we had a big house together. We needed a roommate or two for some unoccupied space i...

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