It has been a long time since I have written in a journal, and longer since I made it a regular habit. I’m about to enter into a new and important chapter in my life, as I prepare to move to Boulder, CO to attend Naropa University’s Graduate school of Clinical Mental Health Counseling, in the concentration of Contemplative Psychotherapy and Buddhist Psychology. Everything is about to change. And really, nothing is.
I believe this is the beginning of a deepening journey into who I have always been, with a level of support and in depth exploration beyond anything I have experienced or imagined was possible.
I want to dive deep into the dark recesses of my shadow and shine light.
I want to face my deepest fears and insecurities and learn to embrace them with loving acceptance.
I want to hone the skills I already have, and have been fostering for years, to heal myself and help those around me who wish to call on me for support to do the same.
I want to stop living in fear of letting someone–anyone down.
I want to look straight into the eyes of the part of me that believes I am not enough, say, “I see you. I love you, and I accept you,” and softly learn to let it go.
These last 8 weeks leading up to my departure will be busy, joyful, sad, exciting, disappointing, fulfilling, connecting, frustrating, stressful, and freeing. It is my best hope that I can walk them with grace and love, brimming with gratitude for the life I have been given, the parts I have built for myself, and the parts that have been gifted to me by my community, mentors, family, and the universe.
I want to make a habit of writing here more as I enter into this new world, and will be in a supported environment that is asking me to deeply turn inward. Journaling has always been helpful in my processing–healing; cathartic. I am about to go into 3 years of heavy reading and writing work, so it may turn out that I don’t have the bandwidth to come here and write even more. We will see. It might turn out to be the kind of break I need from time to time. Either way, I am setting all kinds of intentions at this moment to strengthen healthy habits and let go of those that don’t serve me.
So I’ll be seeing you from time to time. <3
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