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Killing Myself Laughing!

by Pusscat5862

Entries 24

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While the word may seem crass or impolite, it has a long and fascinating history that can be traced back thousands of years. The earliest known use of the word “fart” dates back to the Old Engli...


While the word may seem crass or impolite, it has a long and fascinating history that can be traced back thousands of years. The earliest known use of the word “fart” dates back to the Old Engli...


October 06, 2024

Not All Farts Are The Same!

Some slide out real smoothly with no sound at all. You have no idea where they land. There are the ones that stomp their way out, at 100 mph, ripping off skin and tiny chunks of bone. The noise ...


October 04, 2024

True story!

‘Men in Black’ Director Says ‘Will Smith Is a Farter’: One Fart Was So Bad ‘We Evacuated the Stage for About Three Hours.’


October 03, 2024

True story!

‘Men in Black’ Director Says ‘Will Smith Is a Farter’: One Fart Was So Bad ‘We Evacuated the Stage for About Three Hours.’


September 14, 2024

Dopey Hubby!

For the billionth time in his 63 years on this planet, my hubby again, yesterday, lost his keys! He had a great big wooden keying attached so it’s not like just one small key! He turned the pla...


September 13, 2024

I Am The Great Wopsie,

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GXQpnYNWQAAmoRd?format=jpg&name=360x360 Fluff queen extraordinaire. This is my chair and I’m having a kip with Charlie the chimp!


September 12, 2024

HA!

I don’t fart … I’m a creaking door special effects vibratory technician!


September 09, 2024

Little Wopsie

gob-smacked me this morning! She was on hubby’s armchair while I prepared her brekkie. I bought it in and said ‘’beloved has Chocka-Chicken with Duck’‘. Her little eyes lit up and she said OH W...


September 04, 2024

Little Johnny!

A teacher asked her class ‘’what is sex?’‘ Johnny stood up and said: Sex is a TEMPTATION caused by a SENSATION where a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl’s DESTINATION to increase the POPULAT...


September 04, 2024

Little Johnny!

A teacher asked her class ‘’what is sex?’‘ Johnny stood up and said: Sex is a TEMPTATION caused by a SENSATION where a boy sticks his LOCATION into a girl’s DESTINATION to increase the POPULAT...


Denise, the antiques shop lady is doing her final shift today, she was closing up in September but has decided to retire a couple of weeks early as it’s her 74th birthday 1/2 way through Septemb...


About 12:30am he’d got up out of bed for a drink then went into the livingroom to see our cat who was sleeping on the back of the settee. The second she saw him she leapt on him and told him to s...


August 01, 2024

Pesty Flies!

When I’m at work on my laptop and this stupid fly has been buzzing around me all day and I can’t kill it because it’s too fast for me to grab, then it lands on my arm so I’m about to squash it … ...


July 11, 2024

Naughty Son!

A woman listens in on her 4 year old playing with his trainset. ‘’All those gettin’ off, go on, fuck off, and all those gettin’ on, fuckin’ hurry up!’‘ So woman smacks his bum and sends him upst...


We were in Morrisons Cafe yesterday. We all know those little sachets that are impossible to open! The first sachet of vinegar went all over the table and me and none on the food! The second sach...


Yesterday hubby and I took a day off work and jumped on the 9:06am train to Skipton, Yorkshire. We’ve been before. Lovely ride through beautiful countryside past sheep and cows etc. Trolley lady ...


Yesterday when we finished our shifts at work at 4, we walked to the local Spar for some shopping. As we were passing the cakes etc. I asked him ‘’Do you want any cakes or anything?!’‘ and he r...


1- When they’re cleaning their feets and spread all their little toes out. 2- When they smelled something weird and they make a stinky face. 3- When they walk up to you making little chirpy purrs...


May 14, 2024

Breakfast Time!

We have 3 coldwater fish, Nosher, Jaws and Fangs. Fangs is small and pink, Nosher is like a shark and Jaws is quite big, black and orange. Little Fangs is quiet and polite and usually holds back ...


May 06, 2024

Comedy Film.

Caveman, 1981 with Ringo Starr. Hubby and I watched it last night and absolutely howled with laughter! Watch the end with the Actors Credits, they even name the dinosaurs! It was one of the fu...


Our cat is named Wopsie and my husband has a hot water bottle cover with 2 balls on a cord that he calls his bollocks! Wopsie was laying/sleeping on the livingroom windowsill. Hubby got into bed...


April 22, 2024

I Agree With Her!

So hubby and I are always in one of our local shops that sells all kinds of things at cheep prices, you can buy something in the local chemist for £7.00 but this shop has basically the same thing...


April 22, 2024

Joke!

What do you call a rabbit with fleas? Bugs Bunny! HA!


Book Description

‘’Soft, moist, spongy and wet’’

was my hubby’s reaction to the mushrooms in his Indian takeaway last night!