Overthinking in 2020 Vision

So far knock on wood things with The Young One (thinking about changing his alias on here to The Young Buck because its more fun to say in my head) are still going well. We took our first kickboxing class together last night since we made it known via FB post of our hiking pictures together that we are kind of sort of seeing each other. I got a few knowing smiles from some of the instructors, but I knew that was coming.

Afterwards, I really wanted to invite him back to my place for a post workout shower, but I didn’t have the courage to ask in person. Once I got home and showered and ate (and while safely hidden behind a screen where rejection hurts less) I messaged him the shower invite I had wanted to extend to him but didn’t have the courage to do so. He said he wished I had extended it because he would have accepted. UGH!!!! Fuck, man.

He might come over tonight. We’ll see. I offered him the invite for tonight. He has a dinner with his division he has to go to, but he’ll let me know afterwords if he plans on stopping by. He has 24 hr duty tomorrow starting in the morning and going until Sunday morning. He did ask me yesterday at kickboxing if I was free Sunday and I said I was, so hopefully if tonight doesn’t happen, Sunday does. I’m trying not to act desperate or clingy. I’m conflicted between “cool your jets, girlfriend” and “make bold moves, you already missed the one opportunity”. Its a fine line, and I’m overthinking it.

He leaves at either the end of this month or the beginning of next month for four months and I’m trying to make it so that he misses me while he’s gone.