First Kiss in All other relationships

Today was the day.
I sent Lou a pic a few days ago of a man and a woman kissing and told him that's what I want. I am not in the practice of announcing that shit. But the tension has been building and I was loosing my shit. I also told him that I feel like I missed the perfect opportunity for the most romantic first kiss ever when we were at the mall that night when it was snowing out. We were standing outside with the snow falling, the moon was shining... it would have been so perfect. All of this talking only made it so much worse today lol So we met up today. As if the tension wasn't thick enough before... I have now succeeded in adding pressure to that tension. The entire time we were together, it was so obvious it was on both of our minds. It was obvious he kept trying to work up the nerve but he kept loosing nerve. Right up to the bitter end... we were both so nervous we were both shaking. It was time for me to go. I knew I had to go but I didn't want to leave without that kiss so I pulled out all the tricks. We were at a stalemate. Until... we couldn't stand it anymore. We both finally gave into our feelings. It was beautiful. It was soft and sweet. His lips were so soft. It wasn't too quick but it def wasn't long enough. I wanted more. But since we both waited so long to just do it... I had to leave for work. It's probably a good thing that I did have to leave. I just feel like if I didn't, we would have just kept kissing and get all worked up over nothing that was going to happen today anyways. Plus... I knew it was important to take baby steps with him.
I know how much he wants to be with me. He is making it more and more obvious. The problem, though, is that regardless of how much he wants to, it doesn't mean he's actually ready to. I know he thinks he is but... If we take baby steps, I think it will prepare him for the ultimate outcome. I hope that if I give it to him in small doses it will give him time to digest what he's doing and have a more clear perspective of if he's really ready for it.
He keeps sending me love songs that talk about saying how (the singer) feels about the one he loves. Today he was actually reciting/singing certain lyrics from the songs without saying the words I love you... some lyrics were very provocative too.
When I was getting ready to leave (before the kiss) he put his head down on my shoulder and said "Please don't leave". He just kind of stayed in that moment for a while and then tried to be polite and say that he shouldn't be doing that to me, it's not fair. He knows I need to go to work and earn that money because it's not like he's going to be able to afford to support me. I just kind of made a joke about it. But then he said "Maybe in a few years down the road... come see me in a few years when I'm making billions of dollars". The reason that struck me is because he was talking about taking care of me in the future. Even though it was all in a kidding around basis... I didn't ask for any of that. I've never even implied I wanted that. His mind went there all on it's own. It's not the financial part of it for me. It's the fact that he's even thinking like that. That just really struck me for some reason. Idk... maybe I'm reading waaaaaaaaaayyyy too much into that. But this is my diary, these are my thoughts and that's the way it goes. I like to be able to think like that. I like him. I'm so glad we finally had our first kiss.