2019 in Current Events

Just before I decided to get out of bed I rolled over to see what the time was on my alarm clock. 11:11. I took that as a good sign. It’s New Year’s eve and I usually like to reflect but I don’t want to do that today. I want to look forward instead. I’m going through a very destructive process right now. It’s painful and deeply uncomfortable, this spiritual awakening. It’s hard to have faith as I’m struggling with a lot of external things in my life but I know that there is a reason for all of this. The reason was to learn that it is the context of my life that has been the problem this whole time. Not the content. Not the shitty job, not the shitty relationships, not the shitty income etc. I am the creator of my own catastrophe. I am the creator of my own happiness. This is a painful process because I am erasing everything that I used to be believe was true. I saw a quote last night that really spoke to me. I understood myself only after I destroyed myself. And only in the process of fixing myself, did I know who I really was. I’ll be healthier, wealthier and happier once I make that 18 inch journey to my heart. 2019 happened for me, not to me.