A Self Indulgent Entry in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

I partially agree. I was raised in social isolation and spent most of my teen years with my only socialization being via forums. I developed a lot of meaningful relationships that I maintain to this day, but when I finally got out into the real world, I realized exactly how much I was missing.

That said, I've met some actual friends through OD/PB. My best friend lives in the UK, but she's visited my city twice and I've visited her once (with plans to do so again next year). We talk via text every single day. And no, it's not the same as having someone HERE, but it's real and she honestly keeps me from losing my mind, haha. You CAN form real connections on here.

THAT said, you're right, real-world friendships are incredibly important. And I know you live in a small town, but I still think it IS possible to form friendships now. You hung out with folks from the play! You can do more of that, can't you? It might not have felt entirely comfortable/like Your Scene, but sometimes having IRL friends means compromising on perfect compatibility. Sometimes you have to work to find common ground, but it's worth it to have someone to call up and get coffee/drinks with when you need to get out of your head. And I feel like you'd benefit from forming those relationships now so they may be more established by the time you're alone in the house.

(oh, and honestly I only have 3 or 4 good friends within a reasonable distance, but it's plenty! I've tried maintaining more than that, and it becomes a big scheduling burden.)

I'm not sure it's the illusion of social interaction. Perhaps you don't consider the ppl here your friends, but there is an interaction when we comment and you reply. Is it the same as talking to someone in person? No. Probably not. But it is an interaction. Honestly, life is at the point for me where if I didn't have this, I wouldn't have anything. I'm beyond lonely. But I feel betrayed by nearly everyone in my life right now, so for the moment, lonely is preferred.

Yeah it will be tough, but you'll get through, you'll make new friends and you only need 3 or 4. Here sucks arse right now but maybe you could do a class or club, go to where the people are and after 4 or 5 times of seeing you at the same time and place, you'll be familiar enough to have a conversation and friendships will grow xxx

Wow someone is grumpy today.

I tend to disagree with your assessment. Sure, not everyone is going to be a friend. But when you interact, and I mean, truly interact with some of those people who seem genuinely interested, a friendship can form. It's a different type of friendship, much like your neighbor, your co-worker, your best friend from high school, etc. all carry different levels and depth of interaction and concern.

I've been writing in private diary for 20+ years. I have become friends with some of the people I have met on DE. Met a few in r/l. Chatted occasionally with others, helped others with hardships (in a real sense, sending diapers and such). Can I call them up and meet for coffee? Probably not most of them. Are we anonymous to each other? Not some of us. Same with other forums. I met my husband on a discussion forum. My best friend, too, who I now have a second home next to. I've been on vacations, family and other, with several more with whom I am still close.

You can forge friendships even in this venue. But if you're just writing, and getting comments, and not necessarily interacting occasionally (or often) on your own posts or other's posts, then yes, it's an illusion. But don't underestimate the concern of strangers, even in this forum.

This is a journalling website though, not a social media website. There is a difference; one is used for writing down your thoughts and feelings like you would any other journal, with the option to allow people to comment, and the other is purely for seeking attention. Social media is designed as a popularity contest; journal websites are supposed to be about expressing yourself, creatively or otherwise, should you choose.

Put it like this, Twitter doesn't allow you to make your entries entirely private so that only you can see them. That's social media.

Anyway, as to being lonely, oh man do I ever get that. One of my twitter accounts has over 20,000 followers and I'm friends with maybe four of those people. In The Real World™ I have even fewer friends than that.

The internet has made us all connected whilst simultaneously pushing us further apart.

(Edited for grammar purposes)

If you are to make friendships on here it takes some interaction and reading of other's entries. Ask questions, be sincere and perhaps upbeat and positive! Fake it until you make it! Take care,

The nice thing about being single is you can spend as much time as you want in conversation with people other than your SO. I've been openly diarizing for close to 20 years, almost all of my lifelong friends have come from this activity. Even those with whom I've never texted, chatted, Skyped or met IRL - I still have meaningful moments with people on this site all the time. For the extroverted and/or socially inclined, yeah I get the challenge, but being open and unreserved with your feelings for people here is just as valid and effective as it would be in a face-to-face situation. Probably more so, actually, because we tend to know each other on a deeper level.

I definitely understand the parallels with social media, and I keep expecting the next year to be the year that I finally throw up my hands and stop writing for such a fickle, generally unresponsive audience (of which of course I am guilty too). But the truth is there is still a lot of raw humanity on display here every single day (this entry and the previous few, for example), and it is very much still worth the energy to interact over time and slowly build these relationships. I don't regret a minute of it.

the loneliness is absolutely brutal. No matter how well-prepared you are for it, it's going to be so much worse than you imagine. I'm a lot more emotionally independent and closed off then you are and it's been agony for me. there was a long period of time where when I was alone in my apartment, I was crying. I used to wander through stores for hours just to not be alone. But it's necessary, friend. We have to look this horror in the face if we're ever going to grow past our co-dependent habits.

I only count very few people on here, or on Open Diary previously, as actual IRL friends and I’ve been writing at one place or the other since I was pregnant with my now 19 year old. It is more for me to write down my life, thoughts, feelings - good, bad, or ugly. Love when I connect with someone or even when I debate with someone, but almost everyone here is just an acquaintance and only a handful actually friends.

I’ve actually wondered about how genuine and fulfilling these PB relationships are as well.

I’ve always been a socially awkward person and making friends in real life was difficult for me but it’s easier to make friends online. But you miss that physical connection. The ability to truly hang out with them, to see their smiles and hear their laughs. Body language and hugs and shaking hands and eating a meal with these people. It’s all lost online. But it’s all I have so I keep pressing forward and hope that these online human connections might just outlast an internet connection.

:/