8:30pm, long day, lots of drive time, lots of energy pushed out, not enough yoga or meditation, stress rising, hard loss at the end of the day, heart beat too high with no way to release....ALRIGHT, I’m getting this out!
8:32pm Entering the gym, music…okay, what are doing here…”Hi, Robert…Yea man, life is good. The alternative is infinite”…he’s lost, I caught you looking at me…hi
…
8:35pm Stop it Benjamin, no looking or being a creepy. Let the beautiful girl be…’okay, music..spotify…I hate looking at my phone…beast mode....Let’s get it’…Eyes closed breath in…you flash before the darkness…uh oh…your my desire tonight…
Rather you are my temptation. I don’t know you, anything about you…but the snapshots of half forgotten dreams flicker before my shut eyes, The time on the beach in maui when the kids were in bed and we sat underneath the stars with a bottle of wine talking about the village we just fini..’what was that’....blink a couple of times and look around and..’okay, 7 minutes legs are burning…ab time’…pop up and you are gone. Okay, she was leaving anyways that wasn’t a moment…a spark…yea it was - don’t try and deny it.
8:50 Abs done, clean the machine and try to deny the fact that I probably am going to hurt tomorrow but got lost in counting because you flashed infront of me saying hello…but you weren’t there…damn it Ben, stop this nonsence, you could be thinking about anything else, but this innocent sexy dark haired women locked eyes with you and you saw her see you.
8:52 Water…clean glasses…walking gaze up…shit…you are still here…and in my room. This is now aquaward. I want to say hi…BUT only creeps say hi to hot girls at the gym…and like we talked about Ben…no creeping on pretty girls…that hasn’t ended well for you in the past.
8:53 Stretch out…yes!…that feels good…cracked my back, oh dang..that was loud..your staring at me…I can feel it…don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone. Pop down…stop it, squat and stretch out. Thoughts go away, we don’t need this. We could be thinking about building a business or plans for the....your legs, I see that band. Why do you keep looking at me, smile at least when i catch you. I am not going to creep on you.
8:64 Oaky,,, set done. You are still here watching me. I can’t play this game…I want to, I want to tell you that you look like royalty and have eyes that can pierce the darkness with the light that is inside of you..but sounds strange when typed out…But catching that gaze, seeing…seeing that spark of fire inside of you. You could do great things! You will do great things! I saw a temptation, a beautiful temptation I could already feel the pleasure. You know what I mean, when you see someone and you instantly know…uhoh…she could do it.
8:66 Pull down…haven’t done these in a while…need to work my way back up…Oh, hey I see you ..Okay cool - you are leaving…you are fire inside my soul when I see you…focus…press downs…one…two…three…six…okay rest and stretch, oh what…you are siting down right where you can see me…out of ALL the machines you could sit on, none would give you vantage point to see me…why are you creating this memory inside me?
8:74 You walked away, probably gone some point when I went for water and my last stretch…okay I gotta get out of here, i’m obsessing and this is strange and I’m lost in time..
9:18 Walking to the front, get my two pieces of candy and have some random banter with the gentlemen at the counter…I can feel you coming…closer…and slower…you plan your timing perfectly, I can feel it…here’s your chance, make me not feel awkward to say something and I’ll know because you will say one thing and one thing only when I do what I’m about to do…Candy in hand I head for the door in two steps in perfect timing to catch your gaze again, and open the door for you…here’s your chance, if it’s meant to be..and don’t worry I’ll go as deep as you want, but you set the pace…”Thank you”…I heard that angelic tone, felt the winds change as you uttered it as you walked past.. “Yes, Ma’am, have a good night.”…because that is the only appropriate response to a beautiful women, leaving the gym, at night, after coincidentally bumming into the same dude over and over…creeper alert…then he tried to open the door for you…really??..RUN!!
9:20pm Into the truck, drive home, shake it off. Lose the memory, lose the thought. Don’t fixate, let it go. If it’s meant to be, you will see her again. Those thighs, you were doing work with that band girl, good job. That’s not easy, but you make it look soo fine. I’mt proud of you. You had a rough day today, but you made it though. They didn’t see it, they didn’t appreciate it…don’t worry about them. God saw it, see saw those good things you were trying to do. Don’t worry. He will honor you, if you honor him. DON’T TEST HIM, just “Have Faith”. Trust me, and think about this. God created all things…that includes the things in between the things…that spark we felt tonight. That was something he created to draw us closer. So what do you think - will this spark reignite and force us to bump into each other again? Will the magnetic fields pull us back together to try again?
If not - thank you for the experience. It was invigorating.
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