Do you remember when we were going through Stop and Shop and saw a box of peanut butter and chocolate swirl brownie mix? You were so damn excited…as if this was the newest technology that man had come up with so far. I will give it to you, I never thought to make a brownie infused with peanut butter. Which is weird because I love any kind of cake, brownie, or cookie with a swirl. So it did look pretty good…on the box.
Remember how we used to just sit there some nights and look through the cabinets to see if we had any cookie or cake mix to bake up? I think I was tired that night you made those brownies, and I just laid on the couch while you made them them for us. You know how lazy I can be when I’m tired.
I know that cooking and baking isn’t really your thing and I can specifically remember telling you if you just follow the directions you’ll be just fine. Some how…the smoke alarms didn’t go bullshit. I remember the look on your face when you pulled that brownie pan out of the oven. Disgust! Confusion! Anger! Sadness! and every other kind of negative emotion. The look of defeat. Four globs of hardened peanut butter in the middle of a fully cooked brownie. Now, that sounds gourmet. So much for the swirl.
Your exact words to me were, ‘I followed the directions exactly’! Clearly not. This is what happens when you try to fix something that ain’t broken and start adding peanut butter into shit. And to show just how bullshit that was…besides like a tiny corner piece, I’m pretty sure that lovely dish just sat there and hardened over days, maybe even weeks just mocking us. A sad reminder…that we can’t cook for shit. To this day I have no idea what you did to get it like that. I foresee cooking classes in your future.
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