Windows and Doors in It's Art, You Wouldn't Understand

I got up early today to head to the bank, fill up my gas tank (something Chu was supposed to do) and go to the grocery store for my shake supplies. Happy to say that I did all that in record time. I like being out and about in the morning, not too many people on the road and you see a bunch of cute old people. I wasn’t harassed at the gas station which was bliss and once I got home I worked on my weekly budget. I stayed up late last night with Chu watching the Marriage Story. It was really good but triggering. We had to pause it for two hours to argue through a scene that mirrored our relationship too much. Chu suffers from concealed anxiety and we have been trying for years to cope with it. He still doesn’t understand what triggers an attack or what I can do to help. He wants me to be sensitive and not leave him alone but I can’t be overly accommodating because then he feels like I’m patronizing him. It’s really bananas. I told him we should go back to therapy to help learn some better techniques and he agreed. After the movie, we made love, slow and passionate. I almost wanted to cry from the overload of emotions he was giving me. It was a good night.

So after I ran all my errands today, I was doing some paperwork for the upcoming week and I got a call from an unknown number. The job interview I went to a couple of weeks ago, passed my resume to another company that they worked with. They want me to come in for an interview this Wed and I’m excited. Since I’ve decided to go to school full time I was a little bummed I had to pull out of the running for the original job I applied for. However, this new job is part-time and in property management! They sound like a very small company, which I usually shy away from because they’ll work you like a Hebrew slave because everyone has to wear every hat. However, if the pay is good enough then it will be okay to give it a shot. I haven’t finalized my school schedule yet, I wanted to wait until January for that so it works out. I’m not looking forward to wearing my wig again but it will have to do until I can get more information about the position and the company itself. Small businesses are usually more lax in the dress code dept.

I started my shake cleanse this morning and I’m feeling okay about it. To be perfectly honest, I was tired of eating and cooking. Like I’ve been focusing on other things and then my stomach would interrupt me and eating started to become a chore. Plus, we have zero food in the house so it was a perfect time. I can drink this green shake and keep it moving. I can’t work out for the first couple of days because my body has to get used to it but afterward, it should be okay to do some light running and walking. I can’t believe I’m 160lbs. This is by far my heaviest and my little potbelly is cute as hell but my clothes aren’t fitting. I’m not really this vain but I don’t have money to buy new work clothes so losing some pounds and getting back to a healthy weight is for the best.

The gym on base isn’t offering too many classes this month, I’m guessing they’ll be gearing up for January when everyone and their mom comes to hit their fitness goals. I was doing some research on the whole thing and if I just stick with working out for 6 months I should be in the clear. I only push it to 3 because that’s when I usually hit my goal and go back to what I was. I have to switch it up and get into boxing or something. Being at the gym isn’t that much fun and I could really use a solid community to support me. So after April, I’ll move to a highly competitive sport.

I’m passing my classes with flying colors. I got an A on both papers I turned in and our final is this week. I’m ready for it but will probably cram Wednesday night for a refresher.

I’m excited for the new year. I got my new planner and new pens and I have been having a ball filling out my goal list and filling in my important dates. It even came with stickers so they’ve been a thing too. I can’t lose focus though. This year isn’t over with yet and I have to do all I can to make sure Future Me has the best possible start.