More angry stuff in Ma-jick Mo-ments (November 2019)

I feel like a broken record, there’s rarely any happy here.

So I fought with RP friend again today. I know it’s damn stupid, but I returned to an old site, and I signed up two characters, both old, a male and a female.

The male will have no problems. Male characters do not. You can get a partner by snapping a finger. Indeed, he has already scooped up two potentials and one’s a sweetheart. She wants to try him on. He’s fine with letting her. It won’t be romantic, which is fine. I like plot, too.

The girl, though. I deliberately made the girl hard to access. So today, ORPF says “you can’t expect people to want to do the work to draw her out.” And “If she doesn’t get any interaction, what’s the point?”

I might add, these are the questions I asked her about a triad of my female characters while we were on the one site. I couldn’t get interaction for these girls. Her advice then was “to get them out more.” But who to? Also, when? She had me tied up serving sixty five or so males, all of whom had requirements to fill and things to do. Plus girlfriends.

Well, a couple had boyfriends.

And I looked at those words and I felt real rage. Again. Because I damn well tried to make those girls so accessible that they were like supermodel shaped rugs. No takers. Because the site was about dead, and we were like the last two peas in the can.

Eventually, I guess I should say, the girls did find partners. Kind of. One of them, however, took three and a half years of real time to get a play where she was NOT the third wheel in another relationship. One had more than two and a half years by the time she made a friend - not even necessarily a romance, which is like the gold standard for these things (Iunno why.) One had a romance, but they never went anywhere or did anything. They had one date, once. And one date after they were grown up. Neither concluded.

And of course there was the trash-fire surrounding Lillibet. She HAD a relationship. Six years of it (in game. Three outside.) And she could not get to her sweetie for a date. Nope. We were always too busy for anything in that direction. There were excuses ranging from lack of time (she was admin. Make time?) to feeling another plot (fine) to a final admission that she didn’t like the character. I suggested retirement. I offered a substitute.

That was not acceptable. So we kept going…and I kept not getting my plots filled. So I’m angry. So I’m not LISTENING when she tells me what to do with this girl: she didn’t want the others. So many others. She can’t have this one. Nor can she have the boy. Nope. I don’t want to be back in the dick in a box loop. I don’t want to make fifty of these just to satisfy her urge to…I don’t actually know what she’s doing over there.

Also, I had a memory resurface tonight. I always thought it was kind of funny, but then I took another lens to it.

While I was pregnant with the twins, I couldn’t sleep flat in a bed. Later, we’d find out I had pneumonia. At the time, I was just in pain. I finally found a comfortable spot one night - in the bathtub.

He left me in the bathtub. At least seven months pregnant with twins, unable to get out easily, he left me there. And the water got cold. I woke up cold. And wet.

He’d put himself to bed.

And he’d left me in the tub.

Who the fuck leaves their hugely pregnant wife alone in a tub? He didn’t even try to wake me up.

I think I slept sitting up on the sofa for the rest of that pregnancy. He did not sleep downstairs with me.

I was supposed to be on bed rest. I was supposed to have help.

I guess it turned out okay in the end, but now I just remember the spaces he wasn’t in. I’ve done so much alone. I don’t like being alone, though. But that’s what I’ve got.

I can’t even get laid in an RP, ya’ll. Now how sad is that???