A Billion Shades of Puerto Rico in Musings

He texted me “good morning papito; I don’t like when you leave without at least me giving you a grumpy goodbye! I hope you have a good day at work—always remember that I love you so much, I am sorry, I’m trying to discover you more!!” I was rushing to go to work, and jumped in a taxi and I saw his text at my work meeting…

I didn’t respond… because I am a fucking bitch… his text was sent at 9:00 AM…

He texts me again At 11:15 AM “I was taking a shower and I found one of your long blonde hairs on our soap bar… you’re so cute, is it creepy if I store it in a ziploc bag?”

I didn’t respond… I mean I guess Liam, it is creepy but it’s you and I love you—so I wouldn’t be freaked out if I found strands of my hair in your night stand.

2:38 pm he texts me: “Babe the cleaning lady has been here since 1 and she’s been busting her ass cleaning out your closet…did you tell her to deep clean your closet? I dunno, I know you have a lot of fancy, expensive shit, I wanna get to my shop, but I don’t trust that your shit is gonna go missing. How much am I paying her? What percent do I tip her?”

3:32 PM “Andy I just gave the cleaning lady $160 and a 20% tip… she was fucking sweating her ass off cleaning your shit! LOL— fuck bro you’re a fancy little nigga, the woman didn’t even speak to me and wrapped your clothing in dry cleaning bags and had a whole laundry bag of your clothes!”

I didn’t respond.

3:45 PM “Babe, I know your busy and all and I love that you’re a hustler and you’re always working…but imma be real—I’m getting hella tight that you can’t even text back “k” or “okay”

I didn’t respond.

He sent me a selfie of himself at 8:00 PM and he’s super dressed up and he texted me “babe I’m not cooking and I know you’re not cooking, I’m sure you hungry—so imma meet you at 9:00 PM Sharp at morimoto for dinner, I made reservations”

I decompressed and said “sorry Liam I’ve been busy with clients all day”
“Yeah… that’s cool Andy, you could at least not leave me on “read”
“Papi, I’m sorry. I know” I texted back.

He took a selfie in front of the bedroom mirror… he was wearing an all black suit and Gucci slip ons. “I miss you Andy, I didn’t work today, but I made reservations at Morimoto, my treat!”

I finished my last client at 8:27 pm.... I get in an Uber and stood still in traffic as the clock said 8:36 pm.

I get to Morimoto at 8:49 PM…

I put my legs out of the car and see Liam glowing brightly.... he rushed over to my door and he yanked me up into him, slammed the car door and kissed me.
“I miss you Andy” he smiled at me with his warm hazel eyes and caressed my mouth with his thumb. He’s wearing a fancy suit “Damn Liam you look so handsome” I said giggling and he wrapped his arm around me and I just pulled away and intertwined my fingers into his.

Fast forward… we ate dinner and I just thought he was sweating from Eating wasabi and he was just tripping over his words …

A guitar player came to our table and started playing and softly singing “Estoy enamorado” by Ricardo Montaner.... it’s this really romantic song that my aunts and uncles played in Puerto Rico when Liam and I went to visit… it talks about how long the road was and how the singer feels it’s a perfect night, humid and wet and troubling, but that He still holds me by the hand and shows me something magical and different and how he’s forever in love and maybe I’m just aloof and indifferent to his love but he’s willing to just live in a pineing state until I can come out of the fog to realize he’s the one.

The entire restaurant stopped and I felt like the plates and the bustling just halted, I felt uncomfortable and reached for my wine glass and felt my face completely red… and hear his chair screech as he dropped down onto his knees.

I watched him pull out a velvet box from his pocket, and now there was a videographer just lingering around us…
“I hope you can say ‘yes’ and I know that you’re the one person in my entire life that has ever made me feel like the earth is moving and staying still all at the same time” he opened the box to this beautiful, shining, shimmering encrusted in diamonds ring.
I kept my glass to my mouth and felt my eyes watering up as he pulled out the ring out of the box and gently pulled my left hand and kissed my palm…
“Andres, I’m not rich, I’m not as good as you are, I’m just a dumb, clumsy dude” he said in Spanish “I’m not as perfect as you are, but I’m so inlove with you…” he said as he kissed the top of my hand. “Will you marry me?”

My heart dropped, hearing those words. I felt a million things all at once—why did he ask me? Why didn’t I dress up better? Why didn’t I see how different he’s been behaving? Why? Why am I so selfish and narcissistic? Why me?

“Liam?!” I said putting my wine glass on the table… “are you serious right now?!” I said holding his chin in my hand.
“Hell yes” he said kissing the palm of my hand. “Boy, girl, top, bottom, gay, straight—no person has made me feel like the man I want to become, the man I am—besides you” he smirked and the guitar played louder.

“Yes” I said dropping to my knees in front of him. “Hell yes!” I said as tears streamed down my face.

“Yes?!?!?” He said putting my left hand over his chest.
I quietly nodded and streams of tears dropped down my face.
“Yes baby?!” He said as his hands quivered as he started to slip on the ring.
“Yeah, asshole!” I said swiping my tears off my face “I said ‘I’ll marry this man’” as I put my middle finger up to the videographer “a billion infinite ‘yes’ to Liam!”
He slipped on the ring and the guitar player played loudly and started singing the Puerto Rican anthem of rejoice— Aguanile! And I was so embarrassed to let my Puerto Rican out in a restaurant full of white people and the weirdness of the happiness and the witchcraft that Hector Lavoe’s song “Aguanile” reverberated in this restaurant
Liam ripped me up and started dancing salsa and twirling me and I felt my tears just dripping onto the tables… I never thought I would love a Puerto Rican man… I never thought I would find a man that would ever share this secret of being Boricua in a white world.

And everyone in the restaurant was chanting and clapping and it was so embarrassing and so incredibly happy and freeing.

After the impromptu Puerto Rican festival happened… and we sat down to eat, I had gay men, straight men, women, waiters, bartenders whoever… stop by our table and ask to see the ring…

There’s something so sexy about a Puerto Rican man, regardless of His sexual preference, puff his chest up and brag, be boastful, be in this intrinsic bubble of “I came, I saw, I conquered”

I guess that’s what white men see in me… that absolute self-assertion. I mean as much as I want to break from gender roles and claim my own masculinity—there was something so belligerently seductive about how he was so proud and stoic that whole “he’s mine, check out the rocks on his finger, he said YES”

When we got home there was all of my family and friends, my sister burst open a bottle of Dom Perignon as soon as I opened the door to the apartment… Alex was there with his beau, who if anyone is aware of he hates me, because he knows he’s a k-mart version of me. My brother… my best friend flew in from Puerto Rico… his best friends… and the house was blasting all Puerto Rican salsa…

FUCK when did I happen to fall in love with a Puerto Rican man?! A tattoo artist at that!!

My sister had cooked all day after I left… I thought it was going to be a regular Thursday.

I don’t know what it is about this Puerto Rican man that intoxicates me… maybe it’s the fact that he shares his obsession with cilantro with me… maybe it’s that he’s so machista and he’s learning how to back the fuck up.

After the party at my apartment ended and my sister is cleaning up, and I’m like “Ana! Stop cleaning!!” And she tells me “if your man wasn’t Puerto Rican I’d listen to you, but you better learn how to keep a Latino man happy baby brother!” And Liam heard her and he started laughing “Nah! Ana come on!” And she looked at him “No! Andy dated gringos for so long and the catered to him, you gonna pay for a housekeeper?” She said laughing picking up glasses and emptying them in the sink
“Nah Anita” he said laughing and hugging her. “I’ll be the housekeeper, that’s my king, he doesn’t have to be anything but Andres” he said.
“Yeah” she said patting his back “just take care of my little brother, cause you’ve never met a Puerto Rican woman, that’s my king.” She said as she teared up.

When we were all alone in the apartment and he just had his Tom Ford suit on and he was barefooted and I am just putting glasses in the dishwasher…

He closes the dishwasher and pushes me against the kitchen counter.
“You really wanna marry me right?” He said as he held my face in his hands, staring into my eyes. “If you just trying to keep up with a stunt tell me Andy”
“Papi I want to marry you” I said putting my hands over his on my face.
“I want you to be with me forever” he said kissing my forehead “I’m yours, I don’t need anything else”
“I know papi” i said putting my hands on his chest.

“You make me hard” he said kissing me and picking me up onto the kitchen table. “I don’t know how and why I found you” he said as he dropped his pants down to his ankles.
“Papi” I whispered as he kissed me. “Stop I have to work tomorrow” I said as he guided my hands to his hard love.
“Fuck work” he said as he stepped out of his pants and he wrapped my legs around his waist carrying me to the bedroom.

“Papi, I’m tired” I said running my hands through his short, Caesar cut.
“I wanna fuck you” he said ripping my pants and underwear. His breath got super heavy, kissing my neck. “Ay papi” I whispered in his ear as he kissed me, he lightly choked my throat and ripped his button shirt. All of the buttons echoed in the bedroom as they flew off.
“You see how swollen you have me” he said as he guided my hand to his dick. “Open your mouth” he said as he pushed my legs over his shoulders.
“Papi… I love you” I whispered as he kissed me.
“Open your pretty little mouth” he said as he rubbed himself in the entrance of me… he spit in my mouth.
“Your papi’s little slut” he said as he pushed inside of me with just his it lubrication. “Yo you never fucked a Boricua like me huh?” He said as he put his hands around my waist pulling me into him.
“Papi” I whimpered underneath him.
“This is mine” he said, spitting heavily and pushing himself inside of me…

Fuck the sexiest part of him is that he’s so strong and assertive.

He slowly slid inside of me. “Yo” he said as he kissed me “you like how your papi fucks your tight little pussy?” He said intertwining my hands in his, he kissed me and pulled out.
“I’m drunk baby” he said as he laid on top of me…”don’t remind me what I say tomorrow” he said as he held my waist “but that little button hole is so fucking tight” he said as he kissed me.
“Papi I have to go to work later” I said as he kept kissing my neck.
“Yo not to be sexist, but you’re friends are right” he said as he laid next to me. “I don’t need you to cook and clean, wash my laundry, we can get a housekeeper” he said as he kissed me “but I want you to understand that if I want to fuck you, or get my dick sucked—I don’t care if your tired. You don’t have to cook, clean, laundry and if you don’t wanna work—that’s aight too. That’s how Boricua I am” he said as he pressed me against him.
“I’m not gonna be at your sexual disposal!” I said.
“I don’t want you to be at my sexual disposal, you need to be” he said as he climbed on top of me and pinned my hands over my head.

“You’re so fucking sexy and beautiful” he said as he pushed himself inside of me. I couldn’t believe how aggressive he is—I couldn’t believe that he awakened something in me that I would’ve never found out about myself.
“You feel how perfect I fill you up?” He said as he started to thrust in me.
“Who’s your papi? He said as he held my legs around him waist.
“You feel that?” He said as he squeezed my cheeks forcing my mouth open.
“Papi” I whispered “that’s all yours”
“This is my pussy baby?” He said as he pulled me to the edge of the bed. “You’re gonna let papi cum inside you?” He said as he kissed my ankles.
“Baby no” I said as he stroked me.
“I’m gonna fucking cum inside you” he said as he kept thrusting. “My beautiful king” he said in Spanish. “Papi please don’t cum in me” I whispered holding his biceps.
“Why?” He said As his chest sweat. “You can’t get pregnant, I’m clean of All STD’s“
“Papi” I said kissing him “I just don’t wanna stay up all night” I whispered as he thrusted.
“Baby I have to” he said biting my bottom lip. “It’s your papi’s pussy” he said as he pulled out completely.
“Papi I just wanna get to bed” I said
“Baby lemme cum inside you” he said He pushed his fingers inside me…
“Papi I don’t want our bed sheets to have cum stains from me leaking because of you”

“Ohhh” he said as he climbed on top of me. “Aight I’m respecting your wishes” he said running his fingers through my hair,