Yes, Chef. in Phoenix

So, I’m a morning prep lead at a little brewery in a little town. Our head chef is awesome. As a chef. Like, over 30 years of experience, Le Cordon Bleu, blahblahblah. I think I’ve written about him before, whatever, who cares. Big, old, educated, super good chef, okay? Like, skilled and talented. For real, I have mad respect and admiration for him as a chef.

But the guy is a fucking douchebag. Seriously. Just a total asshole. I mean, most of it is probably because he’s a baby boomer and thinks everyone younger than him is a lazy idiot who doesn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground. He went to a fancy culinary school, but I have a fucking college degree, and he treats me like I’ve never held a knife before.

We were having this conversation in the kitchen today, him, myself, and 2 male coworkers. It started out, for some reason, with “money can’t buy happiness.” The younger co-worker wasn’t participating much in the conversation. The older co-worker, let’s call him… Kent. He agrees, says he’s “known guys with more money than they knew what to do with and they were miserable.” I disagree, and chef wants me to give an example of how money can buy happiness. So, I told the story of what happened to me almost exactly 6 years ago, how I had no job, no money, no car, and an eviction notice for myself and my 2 kids for December 23rd. Merry Fucking Christmas. And how a Facebook friend I’ve never met started a GoFundMe for me and another Facebook friend I’ve never met messaged me and offered to pay off all of my bills and throw in a little extra rather than her customary donation to Red Cross. And how that wonderful woman sent me enough money through PayPal to pay off the rent and stop the eviction plus an extra month of rent, and to give my kids a Christmas. Money definitely bought me some happiness that year.

Chef says nope, it wasn’t the money that made me happy, it was the rent being paid.

Someone, please, tell me how that makes any kind of sense? Tell me how it wasn’t the money that paid the rent that made me happy. Please. Because the rent being paid could NOT have happened without the money, correct? Therefore, money made me happy.

Then, somehow, the conversation turns to some famous chef (that I’ve never heard of because people who cook food aren’t “celebrities” to me and I don’t much give a shit, if I’m being honest) and how, if you go work in his restaurant, for free, for two years, then you’ll make six figures. I’m like what? Go work for free for TWO FUCKING YEARS? Who does that? Chef says some mumbo jumbo about, “For your resume,” and to learn from the guy who was voted greatest chef in the world or whatever, for experience, blahblahblah. I’m like, no fucking way am I working for anyone for free, what kind of crazy-ass capitalist bullshit scam is that? “Do it for the exposure.” Man, fuck you. That’s like asking any artist to perform or create for free but in a way that greatly impacts someone else’s finances just for the exposure. What? Excuse me? I’m going to bust my ass and not get paid for it just so I can say I sacrificed myself to the culinary gods on my resume while this asshole is the “world’s greatest chef” and is raking in more money that I would know what to do with? The greatest chef in the world can afford to pay his goddamn interns.

Get. Fucked.

And this is where the conversation took a dark turn. Chef decided that I wasn’t willing to work for free because I’m a female and that’s why most women make less than men, because most women aren’t willing to work as hard as men do. Because there are jobs most women can’t, or won’t, do. Because most women aren’t willing to work for free to “better themselves.”

I very calmly and quietly said, “That right there is some serious sexist shit and definitely should not be coming out of a man’s mouth, directed at a woman, in the workplace. Or anywhere. Ever,” and promptly walked away and outside to smoke a cigarette so I didn’t stab him.

It took everything I had not to just pick up my shit and keep going, right to my car. But I know what he thinks he’s doing and there’s a little sliver of me that thinks, “It’s not exactly his fault that he doesn’t realize that his method is precisely the wrong method to use on someone like me.” I have watched over the last year as he’s bullied every other kitchen employee right out the door. I am the only one left of the entire kitchen crew of a year ago. Several servers have also quit because of him. And several other cooks hired in after me. I’m the only one who has hung in there. I think he thinks he can bully people and it will make them want to work harder to prove him wrong. Yeah, no, doesn’t work like that, dude. Maybe for some, and it probably works better on males than it does females, but it certainly isn’t going to work like that for me. You bully me, I’ll work less hard for you, because I’ve got nothing to prove to a stupid sexist bully. I’ll take my skills elsewhere, thank you very much, just like everyone else has.

I work really hard, you know? I give it my all. I take it seriously. But I am not going to kill myself for a job, any job, even one I love and am passionate about. Your 14 bucks an hour isn’t worth it to me, dude. You want more out of me? Give me 20 bucks an hour. Don’t try to bully me into doing more for fucking free.

Last updated October 24, 2019