Few Statements in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019
- Sept. 24, 2019, 3:43 a.m.
- |
- Public
Last night I embraced my inner self and stated quite clearly to wife, “I am a catch!” And… I am. I am an employed, not unattractive, intelligent 35 year old with no criminal record who still believes in romance and passion. Any woman would be lucky to have me!
And I made a decision. Last time I had sex was March. Since then? My birthday passed, Wife’s birthday passed, our anniversary passed, we went to Hawaii… and that was just May, June, and July. So… I am going to have sex in the next 5 weeks. That is my decision. Wife would be the obvious choice for that task but it is up to her. She can either be a wife and meet one of my FEW expectations of her or… I can look elsewhere. Up to her.
16 Comments
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Always Laughing ⋅ September 24, 2019
I assume you aren't telling her that? I only ask because i would in my mind assume my partner had sex with me because I threatened to go elsewhere and not because they truly wanted me.
Amaryllis ⋅ September 24, 2019 (edited September 24, 2019)
Edited
I have been thinking all morning about how to phrase this in a way that might reach you. You are an ethical person having a completely understandable emotional crisis. Please, hear the perspective of those of us who know you but are not emotionally tied to the situation.
You need to tell your wife that you are initiating a trial separation. There will be devastating consequences for you and for your wife if you step out without those terms. (And you should be determined to see through the trial separation whether or not she agrees to have sex with you. This is not extortion.) Many of us have been through identical situations before and we speak with wisdom and experience. Your devotion to your ethics tells me this would be even more soul shattering for you then for a normal person, even if it feels justified now. Were you giving one of your lectures on someone in a similar situation, the course of action would be clear to you.
I'll leave aside my usual criticism of this situation because I'm sure you're hearing it from lots of others. Do the trial separation.
Perpetually Plump Amaryllis ⋅ September 24, 2019
I have to agree with this. You have a lot of integrity, and I feel like you're about to push the nuclear button by going outside of your marriage. I recommend telling wife you need to have sex, with or without her. Who knows, maybe she'll say okay to you going outside the marriage...
Perpetually Plump ⋅ September 24, 2019
I think it's interesting that you're disappointed you don't have sex on memorable occasions. I do not believe sex should be saved for special holidays, but rather that it should be a frequent giving and sharing of one's self. I save special holidays for baking special treats, not sharing my love. Bleh.
Nash ⋅ September 24, 2019
If you have to deliver ultimatums to get laid this should tell you something about the future of your relationship with your wife.
pbrman ⋅ September 24, 2019
there is a very real possibility that this relationship is headed for divorce. going outside the marriage will cost you $$$ during the divorce process. Protect yourself and take care of yourself through all this.
Deleted user pbrman ⋅ September 24, 2019
This!!! I don’t know jack shit about divorce but she will use this against you when she finds out. And trust me, women always find out.
Rivercity ⋅ September 24, 2019
Go for it! I do hope you'll let whoever it is you decide to have sex with know that you're married and living with your wife, etc. I think it would be the right thing to do, so she doesn't go into a relationship with possibly false expectations, etc.
woman in the moon ⋅ September 24, 2019
Have you thought that the person you have sex with after such a long term 'starvation' might be the person you fall in love with for that very reason? Eddie Murphy in his red leather jump suit did a bit on that.
So.
Be careful. Have fun.
You could also end up like the Sex and the City boyfriend who got circumcised and had too much fun trying it out.
You can see I watched too much TV in the 70s, 80s, and 90s.