aug 15 in idea barrages

1.) I like my cheese like I like my skateboard parks. Totally shredded.

2.) I realize that “Instant Pot” is the name of a fancy rice cooker that hipsters glommed onto for, like, five minutes but it totally should be what they call marijuana vapes instead.

3.) “Five Nights At Freddy’s” seems like it would only be cool if instead of a human, you led a demonic Rock-A-Fire-Explosion knock off band into battle against a demonic Chuck E. Cheese knock off band.

4.) More evidence that our culture’s sense of humour is broken: apparently the porn parody of the Super Mario Brothers is called “Super Hornio Brothers” as opposed to the clearly better title “Super Lothario Brothers”.

5.) I sort of like the idea that people will storm Area 51 but when they get there, all the hangars will be emptied out, anything alien or mundanely experimental long gone to Area 52 except for a few little signs that say “Invisible Airplane”.

6.) Yes, I was just singing “Some butler once told me/you’re Bruce Wayne and you only/fall down so you can get up again” to the tune of Smashmouth’s ALLSTAR.

7.) The wizard tournament in Harry Potter wasn’t called SUMMONERSLAM and that’s another point against Harry Potter.

8.) “You need to learn the legend of the imps!” she implored.