Divorce Research in My Life

I spent my morning crunching numbers. I pay all the bills, so I know exactly what each bill we pay is and what I bring home vs what he brings home, etc. I needed to see where I'd be if....when....we split up. I went on all different websites to figure out how much child support would be and really couldn't get any of them to match. Helpful.... He never even apologized when he got home. He showed up with a rose, because on Valentine's Day in his card he said he'd bring me a rose every time the one in the vase withered to show my his commitment to our relationship. Know what would show me that commitment? Showing up for our marriage counseling appointment. He didn't come in saying sorry; he didn't say it all night. He acted, in fact, as if nothing had happened. I told him after he'd taken D to Cub Scouts what Marie said for our assignments and about his medication and again, no "I'm really sorry." Nothing.
I showed two friends his text to me after and both said they were completely devoid of emotion. I don't understand how someone could mess up so big and not spend at least a few mins saying sorry IN PERSON and being remorseful. I just don't understand, at all. I'm trying to figure out how much this will cost me, financially. How much a divorce actually costs.....how the logistics will all work. <sigh> I can't believe I'm at this point. And he has no idea.