You're supposed to spend your twenties figuring out who you are and what you want out of life. How to present yourself accurately and how to make yourself happy. Almost 6 months into my 30's, and I know neither. Maybe it's so disheartening because I expected so much from myself. I didn't know what to expect from myself, so I took on blind expectations that things would be better somehow, someway. Because without clinging to that hope, there is nothing to live for.
Even as Kira purrs on my lap, I feel the immense sadness of merely existing. How do people do it, just proceeding with their lives as if it actually matters? I hope to find my purpose, someday. Finding something that actually makes me happy. Sans that, I have nothing but empty dreams.
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