june capstone in idea barrages

1.) It is a shame that not enough people would understand a parody of Skynyrd’s “Simple Man” about the Charmin mascot Mister Whimple.

2.) There are not enough memes where Bernie Sanders is replaced by Colonel Sanders or, indeed, vice-versa.

3.) Marianne Williamson seems like an experiment by a sub-set of the Democratic Party who are convinced that people voted for Trump because people just want to vote for clearly-insane people and are taking their swing at that demographic.

4.) If you hear someone singing a parody of Van Halen’s Panama about enemas, I can’t guarantee that the person singing is me but let’s face it, it is incredibly likely.

5.) Actually, the brutal unfunniness of every April Fools Day joke is the real Prankenstein’s monster.

6.) Wherever someone sings “YOUR WIFE IS A HIGHWAY, I’M GONNA RIDE HER ALL NIGHT LONG” know that I am there singing with them.

7.) The perfect ratio for guacamole is known as Avocado’s Number.

8.) When emo scene kids get old enough to be wine moms, I predict Death Cabernet For Cutie.