I can't do rain in Second 1st

It’s Tuesday again. I’ve been slacking here real bad huh? Typical me. Also very typical that I would only want to type because I’m upset about something..... but let’s put that off as long as we can shall we?

I’ve been listing. I’m almost done with left over garage sale stuff and finally to the point where I’m listing stuff on Poshmark. So far I’m not impressed with the platform. I guess it’s because I’m new to it but I got a comment and was completely unaware (no notifications) so I’ll have to check it all the time. It was a scammer for sure but not the point. Also.... people liking stuff and following me.... well it means nothing as far as I can tell if they aren’t buying something. I listed a ton of ties and sunglasses.... I actually have another day of sunglasses ahead of me.... between actual life today and then hopefully not again for awhile. That is IF I can finish them today. Then there is another box of earrings and then the purses....

The plan after that is a detailed cleaning of the house in preparation for going back to work and as a catch all after Sammy (the cat).

Rocky got tested for allergies and turns out hes super sensitive to dust mites ..... so we bought him a bunch of hypo allergenic pillow covers and will be doing this massive cleaning project. .... I will I mean.... sigh

Anyways, Then after the cleaning project I can start my next diamond painting.... but all this in a week and a half seems like a mountain..... one day at a time right. I mean honestly if this had been 2 years ago it wouldn’t have seemed such a large thing to clean the house..... a 2 day project max.... now I feel like it’s going to take a whole week.

Therapy at noon today. A meet up at 1:30...... one planned for 7:45 am Wednesday and then I guess I must tell you the thing I’m upset about so if this thing bothers you .... you can skip on now.

We took Rocky’s car to a guy (Chad) a couple weeks ago ..... then life got in the way. Chad ordered parts but had a planned vacation. With me not working anyway we went ahead and waited him out. He’s back and we took Rocky’s car to him last night. We left it there and the Chad said it would be 2-3hrs, so we came home. When he texted that it was ready was when the bad things happened. It was pouring rain, which is the worst to drive in anyway but more so because the rain activates some odd focus problem. Causing more dizziness and anxiety. Before Chad had texted I asked Rocky if he could just text the guy and ask him if we could pick it up in the morning. He said it should be fine. Once Chad texted the rain had not let up any at all. We drove half way down our road and Rocky stopped, turn on his hazard lights and started looking at the weather radar. I again said “we should just see about getting it tomorrow”. We sat there while the radar did not load because of the bad weather...... just sat there. Now.... in my head he was looking for a way to go. Looking for how long it was going to be pouring because he was uncomfortable driving in it. Like would it be easier if we waited 15 mins. Then it let up a tad, while we were sitting there and I was thinking if Rocky’s not going to holler at Chad the we better take the windows we age given. I said “let’s just go.” This being in response really to him not calling/texting Chad like I’d asked twice. We made the turn onto the main road.... then a turn onto the road Chad was off of. As silly as it might sound here.... Rocky farted and was holding his stomach then he said “Nope.” Pulled into a driveway and turned around. I grabbed his phone and sent a message to Chad. “Can we come get it tomorrow? If so what time is good? My wife gets dizzy in the rain and I don’t think she will be able to drive in it” He sent a message back “Same time 5:30-6, no worries my wife is the same way”..... which I doubt.... and had I not had this damn disease I would have done it.... at least I like to think I would have. When we got home I was crying “We came home because you had to poop, not because I was scared to death. I’ve told you it’s worse in the evenings and with the rain. I asked you twice to see about getting it tomorrow” I went to bed and there was an argument. .... He says he was looking at the radar to see when it was going to let up so he could turn around.... right that makes sense how? because if that were the case why move forward as far as a whole other road. Why then when I said just go would you not pull into the next driveway and turn around? Why would you just not give a fuck what the radar says and call it unsafe of your own accord and head back?..... He was looking for a reason to go. I am hurt.... probably pointlessly as no amount of him hurting me will change anything. All I needed him to do was listen. HEAR ME “we should just ask him if we can come get it in the morning” “Ok” tap tap tap “tomorrow evening okay” “yup” and to bed..... Sammy wasn’t homw and I was looking forward to a nice bedtime.... and instead it was a disaster.... I didn’t even want to sleep next to him I was so upset. Obviously it has leaked into the morning and I can’t imagine today will go well.

I have therapy at 12. I expect he won’t get up till I wake him.... probably 11:15 ish. sigh