may 28 in idea barrages

1.) If the whole work crew comes down with a bug, that’s a staff infection.

2.) It’d be even cooler, though, if you put silver under your pillow and the next day, you RECEIVED teeth. Preferably the teeth of your enemy. Maybe that’s what The Tooth Demon does.

3.) If you turn on an orbital sander, swinging it around in circles to ward off your enemies, is that an orbital orbital sander?

4.) One Tolk over the line, sweet Jesus, one Tolk over the line, I’m real bored of the rings though some people dig it, one Tolk over the line

5.) Quoth the incredibly corny and forgettable raven: “Macklemore.”

6.) IF the Lord moves in mysterious ways AND the knight in chess moves like a knight in chess THEN God is a tiny weird horse man.

7.) If I was going to be running a public campaign to immunize against St. Vitus Dance, my first move would be to license the song “The Rhythm Is Gonna Get You”.

8.) IKEA instructions are surprisingly non-shelf-explanatory.