Love and IHOP. in Phoenix

I think I know what being in love feels like now. True, honest, pure love.

Part of me wants to own you, I won’t deny it. Part of me wants you right now, right here, for always, every minute, for the rest of my life. I want to fall asleep in your arms every night and wake up to your smiling face and your beautiful eyes every morning.

But, that’s the old me. The me who thought that love meant devouring someone, consuming them, drowning them. That old me, she wants to have you all to herself.

That’s not love.

All I could think about on the drive home was how much I love you and how you deserve all the love and all the happy and all the good in the world. How I would never want to keep you all to myself because no, you deserve so much more. You deserve to give and receive all the love. I don’t think I could deny someone else the right to love you, or you the right to love someone else.

And I think that’s what love is. I think it’s loving someone so much that you just want them to be free to give and receive love whenever and wherever they can find it.

You make the world a better place. Undeniably. I am so lucky and so grateful to have your love and affection.

Part of me wanted to pull off the side of the road and cry.

I turned up the radio and counted all the things I love about you instead. I love the way you love me most of all. I love the way you look at me, I love the way I feel when your arms are around me. I love the way you say my name. I love every single thing about you.

Thank you for showing me what real love is. Thank you for seeing me the way you do, and at a time in my life when I needed exactly that to show me myself, to see myself as someone who loves me does, and to love myself because you love me. I believe in you and so I believe in the things you say. I trust you completely, and so I have no choice but to believe you. Words come out of your mouth and I just accept them as indisputable truth. You make me feel amazing in every way. You make me feel loved in a way that no one ever has and I doubt anyone else ever could.

I don’t know where this is going, I don’t even know what this is, but I know that it’s good and happy and pure. And I know that you have me. All of me or just a piece of me or anywhere in between. Wherever you want to be is exactly where you are. I feel so lucky and so blessed to be known by you, seen by you, and loved by you, that anything, any little piece of you that I can have, every stolen moment, is enough. You fill me up, you overflow me, with love and happiness. I’ll take whatever you are willing to offer, whatever we can have, and it will be more than I ever dreamed, more than enough to sustain me through life. Even if I never shared space with you again, I would love you, and I will hold my memories with you in the dearest, deepest part of my heart forever.

Also. Thank you for having breakfast with me twice. I’ll never see IHOP the same. #LongLiveCandy

Last updated May 05, 2019