Sometimes in Torridaussity Two

Sometimes you just need to hear that you are loved, that you are appreciated, that you are cared for not for what you can give someone, but just because you are who you are. I am feeling that I am only good for what I can do for others. I don't hear from my friends unless they want or need something. I am not going to lie I am in a funk right now. I feel trapped in a box with the sides slowly shrinking. I am tired all the time and my fear is that I am getting sick again. Back almost 7 or so years ago I was diagnosed with an incurable auto immune disorder called pemphigus vulgaris and what it does is destroys the proteins that hold your skin and mucous membranes together. It basically caused my skin to blister as if I was being burned. The treatment was long term use of steroids and immune suppressants. I was fortunate enough to go into remission. I would get an occasional blister here and there, but lately they are becoming more frequent and taking longer to heal. Stress is a big trigger so I am trying to re-center myself and calm my nerves. I am praying that I am not getting sick, I can't go back on those drugs, I am still suffering from the side effects. As a general update last Monday I fell twice at work. I had a huge gastritis attack that made me very sick. I have been having wacky crazy dreams causing lack of sleep, and because of all the crazy weather, still not getting all my hours in at work and therefore losing money weekly. I have caught a cold and feeling grumpy. The positive things are the weather was nice today and that I got out and about. Hope those of you reading are all doing well.