Yuh in Current Events

I finally got to return to work today and I could tell that the place took a beating while I was away. I gave Karamjeet her present and I also packed some extra stuff from my lunch so that she could try it. I blew her mind with my masala toast and she also never had hummus before. I could tell that I melted away all her stress from last week. I made her day. Mine did not start well. On my commute to work, I saw two dead deer on the side of the road. Back to back. My heart just can’t handle that. Deer are my spirit guides lol. I know that I sound crazy when I say that but I’ve been holding in tears all day.
I have a cough that will not go away. My mother is convinced that it is asthma. That was what she went off on me about yesterday. You’re so frustrating! I just want to smack you on the back of the head! Get a doctor! My therapist and I are dealing with that right now, my mother seems to forget that I had once gone to see a doctor that refused to have anything to do with me because of reasons that I do not know. He told me to leave, he would call security if I didn’t because he had other patients worth his time. I was dressed pretty “gay” back then.
Anyways, Karamjeet’s first assignment as my store’s new Manager was to write me up for the audit that we had. The score was our best yet but my boss is still not happy with it. My boss has not set any targets for me this year so I have no reason to feel like good is not good enough. She is just going to tell him that she did but she does not even want to put any energy into that bullshit either. We have a lot to sort out at my store, together, and I am making damn sure that my team knows that she and I are a unit. I am looking at her as a mentor. I have so much that I can learn from her and I am trying to look at the opportunities here instead of the losses.
I just wish that when I was asked to transfer to this store, that I had asked my boss some questions to get a feel of what I was signing up for. Like what is his connection to this job? Why does he like this so much? I should have gotten him to explain to me what makes his best manager so valuable to him? Do they work 60 hours weeks without any resources or guidance? That is not a culture that I want to be a part of. We do not have the same values, I know that now. I should have asked him about the challenges his store was going to have in the next couple of years and how my role was supposed to help. I should have asked him if he has a way to measure my impact on the store! There is no room for advancement or raises if that answer is no. I only had one review in the last 3 years for crying out loud. What skills and experience does he need me to have to help him grow this business even more?! Does he even have those answers?! I jumped ship because he told me that I would be trained to become a store manager. 3 years later the business at my store outgrew everybody else! So much so that he was even offered more locations. I, personally, have absolutely nothing to show for it.
Karamjeet told me today that she is still getting job offers that she has been declining. However, there is one that might be too good to pass up but she does not like the vibes that man is giving her. She thinks that he wants to have a marital affair with her. I’m thinking about human trafficking. If she gets “hired” then she will give him all the information that he will ever need to make her a missing person of colour that nobody will talk about. Seriously, that is the vibe I got from her story.
Anyways, the moral of this entry is that I couldn’t drink for a week while I was on anti-viral medication so now I’m drunk.
-The End
xoxo