the 13 fields of the 4th dimension in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

My entire life I have had a reactive merkaba, and for the first time in my life I am working on tuning it to be active.

I’ve been having moments of near ascension lately, and I can only assume that it’s because I have finally been activated and set on my path.

I was recently gifted the opportunity to release a giant weight that I had been carrying around for a third of my life, possibly the heaviest weight I had ever acquired…and now that it’s gone I have been mere atoms away from literally flying.

HOWEVER

For some reason I haven’t been able to fully ascend into the fourth dimension.
Every time I begin to vibrate at the proper frequency, I can feel myself leaving my body, and then I just get stuck…and then this panic sets in because I’m halfway in and halfway out, and I don’t know what to do to pop myself back into this body, it eventually just kind of happens on its own.

I also have no control over when the vibrating and subsequent dimensional shift will occur.

So…I’ve been in and out and halfway all day today…for the last few days, actually, ever since I have begun tweaking my merkaba with purpose.

I’ve been extremely emotional…and tired…crying a lot…sleeping a lot, and having intense “dreams” where I am clearly in the fourth dimension because there is no time lag between thought and creation because time does not exist.

I feel like I am going to cry right now.

I wish I had a familiar…I miss Sadie. I don’t know why I’m not allowed to have one right now, but I need something to tether me to “reality”, especially at night. Light as we understand it doesn’t exist beyond this dimension, and night time sometimes feels a little too foreign these days…I used to love the night, and the moon…and now it just reminds me of being lost in a void.

Voids are real, and limitless, and that’s somehow possible, and I’ve been in one.

Anyway…

On a brighter note, I saw Alita Battle Angel, and it was fucking dope and when it ended I wish it had just kept going…I went and saw that movie Saturday night and I probably would have stayed and watched it until Sunday night if it would have just kept going.

Sometimes it’s nice to be entertained while you’re striving for immortality.

And yes, immortality is possible.
It’s not about living in the same body forever, it’s all about retaining your ability to remember yourself as you phase into the next stage of existence.

I have been given the broader scope of who and what I used to be before I came to earth, and on earth who and what I’ve been with my time here…I guess that makes me a fraction immortal?

I guess I’m kind of like Blade.
Or just, Wesley Snipes in general.

Yeah…I’m totally just like Wesley Snipes.
And Blade.
Yeah.

Okay…I just felt like I needed to get some of this off my chest.
I can’t talk about a lot of this stuff with most humans, so thank you.
Thanks for always listening to me, even when I don’t make sense.
I don’t know how, but I’ll figure out how to repay you.
If not in this life, maybe the next.
I love you.
-Dane