Time in Current Events

I do not have the requisite words that I need to express how I have been feeling the last couple of days. Everything was sitting pretty. My mental health has never been so strong, my body has never been in such good shape, my finances have never been this far ahead, I’ve never had this level of job satisfaction at work etc. Did everything just fall apart? No! But my savings account has a magic number that will coincide with car trouble. I just had to empty my savings to make some car repairs. That same day I had collapsed for reasons I do not yet know. I suspect a caloric deficiency? I’ll get a doctor. That same day was also my first therapy appointment and I had to open up a few scars so I’ve been a little more sensitive than usual. It’s been over a week since I did any form of exercise, I’m a bit hesitant about pushing myself after my fainting spell. My body has already started cannibalizing my muscles no doubt. I’m wasting away to practically nothing lol. I’m barely eating because I am too disturbed these days to get up and cook and eat right. The thing that has me shook the most is that I have the opportunity to go back to school on a bursary but I have to apply by the 15th, I only heard about this on Friday. My next move was to, well move. Then with a therapist in my arsenal, I was going to make all the big changes in my life. I was going to take it slow and steady. This is just a lot to process in such a small amount of time.
Do I have the tools that I need to combat the negative thinking that usually renders me ambivalent? I think so. I am not overthinking. I know what my insecurities are but I also know that I want to build myself a better future. My comfort zone is a nice place and all but I will never grow there. I could let my feelings take over and just fall apart but I know exactly what I need to do to get my head back on straight. I need to get myself back into my routine. I need structure. I need to be constructive and tackle every tiny problem head-on. Stick to my savings plan, it is not like I dug myself into a hole with my car. I need to start counting my macros and I need to get a family doctor on my side to help me watch my diet & nutrition. I can also find myself a fitness coach, they are available everywhere… but before any of that happens I have to apply to college before I regret it. I am sure that I will get to discuss a plan with somebody there about how to get the degree that I want. Figure out what my perquisites are and such. I do have some time on my side. Even the poorest man on this earth has that much.
Ok, I feel a little better. I have basmati rice soaking right now. I need to eat something real, I am making my famous lemon curry rice and chickpea curry.