1: Introduction - why I'm writing this in My own struggles

I decided to document these stories i’m about to write whilst i was on holiday in Australia. There is a lot of stuff which i have had in my head which before today I’ve never had chance or even thought about putting it to screen. I’m hoping it will allow me to seek clarity of my life as a whole and hopefully give me the opportunity of moving on to greater things.

I have found it difficult to open up to most people that have been close to me and this includes family members. I’ve only really opened up to my mum and my grandma as I feel most comfortable opening up to them. I don’t feel the same way about opening to Dad even though he has stated he is there for me. The reason being that he has had 2 previous marriages that have failed - one with my mum and after that he had an affair with his next wife. I’ve never cheated on anyone and i intend to keep it that way. It’s nothing personal but i certainly don’t have enough respect for him when it comes to relationships. The experiences that i have compared to my dad aren’t the same so i can’t or won’t seek to him for help. Because i’m closer to my mum, she has a better understanding of me

I hope to those who have come across this will find my stories enticing and helpful. If i have forwarded these stories to you personally and you know who i’am, it means i want you to understand the full story of my struggles and not just why i have struggled to move on from my last relationship. It starts from the breakup with a girl called Jade all the way to the breakup of my last girlfriend, Lauren, who really won my heart over from the first day i saw her and i still hold her dearly even to this day.

Since my last break up, i have really struggled to move on and have suffered from Anxiety and have been mostly depressed and lonely throughout the year. The anxiety i must admit actually started a few months before the breakup with Lauren but ended up snowballing into something bigger before the eventual break. The after effect has been depression and loneliness as i have been pining for Lauren.

There are some high points which when you read this book you should be able to tell that they have been the most enjoyable sections of my life.

I shall explain more of the scenarios in the following chapters so please read on.....

Last updated January 17, 2019