I wanted a place to write most about the naughty stuff I wouldn’t otherwise share. I don’t really have a plan for how to go about it, other than that I will start with a lot of history and maybe eventually get to the present. But mostly this book will be about memories.
If I’m going back to the very very beginning, I’d have to start by talking about my obsession with my sister’s panties when we were both young. She’s three years older than me, so as kids that usually meant she was bigger than me, and I remember first noticing her underwear in the laundry baskets because it seemed so big.
These were 1980’s panties. What we would probably call granny panties today, but I think they were much more normal back then. Of course there was nothing sexy about them, if I had to guess when it started I would say I was 9 and she was 12 and sexiness was not the objective of her underwear at that age. And of course my interest in them had nothing to do with sex.
Strangely, I remember her underwear collection very well. She had three yellow pairs and the rest were all white. They were all cotton, all high-waisted, all full briefs. They all had a lacy trim that was feminine but not sexy. And they all had an oddly narrow crotch, odd by today’s standards. Imagine a full brief with a crotch that was only about an inch wide. I remember thinking it was weird even then.
I remember trying one on for the first time. Again, with no sexual desire, but mostly because I wanted to see how big they would be on me. As kids, my sister and I were both over weight. Neither of us were seriously obese, but we were both heavier than we probably should have been. And there was always a bit of rivalry (at least from my perspective) of me feeling like even though I was overweight at least I wasn’t as big as she is.
So I tried her panties on the first time just to laugh at how big they were on me. I had no idea what an obsession that would lead to.
Over the following years I would periodically pull her panties out of the laundry and try them on again. I told myself that it was all for that same reason of comparing our sizes, but as I got older and went through puberty I certainly started to realize I was feeling something else too.
I was 13 and in 8th grade the first time I decided I wanted to actually wear a pair of her panties for longer than a few seconds. I picked a pair out of the laundry and wore it to bed one night. I remember having all these weird fears of someone coming into my room and ripping off my covers to expose what I was wearing. Or doing some sleepwalking even though I’d never done that before. So to be extra careful, I put on a pair of sweatpants that night, even though at the time I normally slept in underwear and a t-shirt.
Once I did it the first time, I just wanted to keep doing it. So every few nights for a while I was sleeping in panties. I would wear them for the night, sneak them into a load of laundry I was washing myself so no one might notice, and then return them to her drawer.
I think a turning point for me was when I decided to keep a pair. I was super nervous that she would notice it was missing. But I wanted my own panties and didn’t want to keep doing the wash-and-return thing. After there was no fallout from stealing the first pair, I felt brave and stole another. Then another. I don’t specifically remember how many pairs of her panties I stole in total but I’d guess it was at least five.
It felt nice having my own collection of panties and I started wearing them more often and being more comfortable about it. Wearing them during the daytime was scary at first, but then started to feel more normal. I remember being terrified the first time I wore them to school, but then when it went smoothly I started wearing panties to school all the time.
The next thing I could identify as a turning point happened during the Christmas season when I was 18. I was carpooling to and from work with my father. I would drop him off and then continue to work, then I would pick him up on my way home. I got out of work earlier than he did, so this involved having to wait around each evening for about 30 minutes.
There was a Walmart near where he worked and one day I got the crazy idea that I could go in there any buy my own panties. I’m not sure why that thought had never occurred to me before. So I did it. I was extremely nervous about the experience at the cashier, but my desire for panties of my own was strong enough to make me go through with it.
I still remember exactly what I bought. Hanes panties. They called them “Hanes Her Way” back then and that phrase was printed on the scalloped waistband. Six pack, white cotton, hi-cut style. I squeezed the package into the inside pocket of my jacket in order to get them into my house without my parents noticing.
There was a thrill associated with buying my own panties that I hadn’t really anticipated. Over the next year I kept doing it until I had way more panties than anyone would ever need. I started wearing them almost every day, and eventually that lead to wearing them 100% of the time. I know there was a point in my early 20’s when I realized I was seeing a doctor and would have to undress so I specifically went out and bought a pair of boxers because I didn’t own any mens underwear.
I could go on and on about panties, but I think this is a good stopping point for my introduction.
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