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I know that there is nothing less interesting than hearing about other people’s dreams, but…
I had the most vivid dream last night. I woke up and I was 10 years old again. My entire life after that was a dream. No DH, still lived in VA with both parents, etc. I went to class and I could NOT stop crying. I knew how the future was going to play out and I was terrified. I tried telling teachers, Philip DeFranco (weirdly), my family, and my friends that I came back from the future. No one believed me.
I sat down at a table, in tears. A girl named Kaylee introduced herself to me. I asked her “don’t you remember me?” She said “no, today is our first day of school together, did you want to be friends?” and the gravity of everything hit me all at once. I met my best friend Ryuu in 6th grade. We weren’t friends anymore. I didn’t have DH. My father still had control over me and was still in my life. I put my head down and cried.
A boy that I went to school with, Eric S. asked me what was wrong. I explained everything to him and, surprisingly, he believed me. He told me to take what I learned and apply it to my life as a fifth grader. I resolved to eat better and care more about my appearance. I would be more open and willing to make friends, not so anxious and shy. I knew what age I would meet DH and how to do so. I would find him when the time was right and we could be together again but, hopefully, I would be a much better person.
Then I woke up.
It took me a few minutes to remember where I was, how old I was, and all of that stuff. Going back in time is absolutely terrifying. I would love to see my Papa again, but other than that… My life, for all its faults, is so much better now.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Work this week was bananas. I sat down a few times to write here but I would get stressed out or tired and couldn’t focus. My second half classes started on Monday, so that takes a lot of my attention too.
In other news, my period ended and I am back in the “fertile window” according to my Glow app. I’ve had a steady stream of negative OPKs but it says I’m supposed to ovulate on the 24th, so…
Here’s hoping I’ll be able to have a special surprise to tell everyone for Christmas. <3
xx
ladylexapro
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