Advice needed in 2018
- July 18, 2018, 12:51 p.m.
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- Public
Help. So my mother was basically the sole caregiver to my gramma for the last 6 years. It’s been way more than that but I guess what I’m saying is she’s been much more ill in the last few years.
She’s now gone from constantly checking in, nursing, making meals, doing finances, and all that- to nothing. She’s lost. She is so lost, I can see it in her eyes. She doesn’t talk much anymore and doesn’t know what to do. She’s different now. I miss my mom. Even tho she’s not really been there for me in the past few years, I can see this change in her.
What can I say or do to help her? What can SHE do to help herself ? She needs to reinvent herself but I have a feeling she won’t. I want to help her but I also don’t want to pressure her right now because it’s so fresh. Should I let her be for now? Should I check on her? Should I suggest things or just reach out? Should I stop reaching out for now? What do I do???
Kristen <3
Squirrel ⋅ July 18, 2018
Look for a grief support group in her area. Offer to go with her, or just drive her and wait outside. Don't stop reaching out, unless she specifically tells you to stop or slow down. Be present, but not pushy.
It's likely too soon now, but she might enjoy finding some sort of volunteer opportunity at a local nursing home or assisted living facility. OR...those places may hurt too much, so maybe another local place that needs help with kids or animals or community events.
Most importantly, don't make it your job to get her through this. Be supportive in ways that are comfortable for you, and don't feel guilty if she's not receptive to your efforts. She will figure out the next phase of her life, even if it takes a while.
.:A_Shadows_Exhale:. Squirrel ⋅ July 18, 2018
^^this.
Mrs.Kristen.Canon Squirrel ⋅ July 18, 2018
This is really great advice. Unfortunately we live in the middle of nowhere in a small town so I’m not sure what’s avail for those things but I definitely will be checking into all of these things. Grief counseling for sure. Thank you so much for this note. I’ll be screen shotting it for future reference
Mrs.Kristen.Canon Squirrel ⋅ July 18, 2018
This is really great advice. Unfortunately we live in the middle of nowhere in a small town so I’m not sure what’s avail for those things but I definitely will be checking into all of these things. Grief counseling for sure. Thank you so much for this note. I’ll be screen shotting it for future reference