5/1/05: Party with Matt in Victim of Society

Well Friday I REALLY wanted to do something fun instead of sit around at my house with all my friends playing pool and stuff. Margot called me and was like "were coming over now" and i was like "what?" and she was like "remember u said we can all come over tonite?" and i waslike "ohhh shit i forgot! and im not gonna be here tonite. but u guys can still come over. just make sure u leave with my parents come home." she seemed kinda mad but i was not about to stay home on a friday night. Matt called me up and invited me to this party in san dimas so i followed him out there and it was at this really hot guys house and matt said he was a model. so i started drinking all these shots and talking to like everyone there. then i saw this guy who looked really familiar and his name was matt too, he used to hang out on evergreen. At like 11 Miki was like "we have to go now" cuz her friend was having a party so I was like ughhh. So we left and went to her friends house which I thought was going to be lame but it ended up being pretty fun. There was like this bounce house and I lost my shoes. There was only like cholo mexicans there tho so no hot guys. Then Jason came by and we smoked out with him and I was all over him trying to get in his pants but he was not letting me. And I waslike "its cuz im SEVENTEEN HUH!" lol i was all mad and he was just like "shh calm down girl" Then I started going on and on about CRAIG. So now like everyone knows I like him lol oh well. After awhile I got so drunk I felt pretty numb so I told Jason to slap me and at first he wouldnt and finally he did- twice! lol I was like YESSSSSS. Then I guess I cut my wrists like all at the top right where my wrists end and my hands start so they are all gross and cut up right now. Kyle saw them at work and was like "what are u doing?!!?" And I HATE when people ask me that about me cutting myself. Its like wtf am i suposed to say? who cares anyways its just a few lil cuts. Well anyways at like 3 in the morning Friday night Matt was like come on we gotta go and i was like aghhh i cant drive. But finally I just said ok ill try and he told me just to follow him and hed take me all the way home. And so we got home and he made sure I got out of my car ok and everything and hugged me and then I got inside my house and passed out lol. Then last night Matt invited me to this Rave but it was all they way out by Six Flags and it costs 30 bux. It's actually still going on right now lol its a 24 hour rave. But I didn't feel like driving out there or paying that much and I was SUPER tired last night. So after work I ended up just falling asleep and I didnt wake up till 2:15 today haha.