Another One in The Truth (As I Know It)

I had another of my repressed anger dreams last night. I don’t know what else to call them. In this one, I was SCREAMING at my sister- calling her all kinds of horrible names. Why? I don’t really know. Some vague recollection of feeling disrespected or ignored in the dream. I held it together really well today though. Usually, when I have an intense, unsettling dream it ruins my whole day. I did have some mini-rage moments while doing the yard work, but other than that I kept myself under control.
I really don’t know where these anger dreams are coming from. I never realized just how angry I apparently am at my family. I think maybe possibly, that after a lifetime of internalizing and depression my mind has said ENOUGH. I’ve read that depression is anger turned inward- an inability or unwillingness to deal with the issues and conflict in your life ends up being turned around and the brain attacks itself instead. Or shuts down to not deal with anything.
I’m hoping that this is just a stage on the way to better mental health. A necessary step. A cleansing of the anger and resentment I’ve held inside for me for so long. I went so long without really feeling ANYTHING, and I guess I have to dig my way thru the muck before I get myself back above-ground. The only way out is thru, as the cliche goes- so I just gotta keep digging.

Last updated May 16, 2018