The Process in My Fucking Feelings

So what’s a guy got to do to date the Phoenix anyway?

Well… We aren’t currently accepting applications but you are welcome to leave a resume on file.

The position of potential future husband involves a rigorous interview process.

It starts with the pre-interview and the follow up pre-interview.

From there further assessments may be needed before continuing.

If all goes well you will be invited to schedule an actual interview and then a follow up interview if necessary.

If you do well in the interview you will receive a job offer explaining the requirements of the position and an explanation of benefits.

We are a non-profit organization so don’t expect a regular paycheck, but if you do well and we have enough resources then there will be holiday bonuses throughout the year.

This is a temporary position, which ends either in a promotion to ‘future husband’ or in termination/demotion. While demotion does tend to be the trend, as this position is not actually necessary and therefore highly demanding and competitive, few get demoted all the way down to ‘I hope you die slowly in a vatt of acid.’ Most simply end with the job title, ‘better as friends’.

We do not currently have the resources to support this position in the company. However, exceptions are always made for exceptional candidates so be sure to drop off your resume to a local representative, or submit via email. Please remember to include contact information and proposed start date. Geeks encouraged to apply.

Thank you for your interest in Phoenix.

GLHF

Last updated April 08, 2018