I understand the need for the sex talk now in Self-Improvement, 2018

I think it was two appointments ago, my therapist told me I’d be entering the rebound stage soon and more or less told me to behave myself for 6 months. That is how long she estimates my rebound stage to be. I didn’t give it that much thought at the time because I had no such energy to actually put myself out there and find someone to get myself in trouble with. I mean that DOES take both energy and at least a 10% level of self-confidence.

So the dating apps Bumble and Her have been “okay”. I havevhad a few good conversations with both women and men on Bumble. The problem is that the women are the ones I want to have a conversation with the most, but those are the ones that I freak out in my own abilities to hold said conversation, and eventually stop talking to the woman altogether. Men are EASY. Sorry, men. Its a scientific finding I’m realizing.

And then there’s Tinder. So far its only been men who I’ve matched on there. And the men on there are the easiest. They say Tinder is for hookups, and I’m believing it. And I’m bored.

So yesterday, I matched with a dude. Relatively decent looking and he asked if I wanted to meet for a few drinks yesterday evening. I asked if he minded super shy girls. He said no. And feeling braver than usual, I agreed to it. I did NOT have sex with the dude, but I’m pretty sure he’d be down. It was a dive bar. He was respectful in the sense that after 1.25 drinks (not kidding) he got me water to finish off the night. but to be fair, my first drink was a long island ice tea, which is strong as it is, but that one tasted super potent. My next one was a cider. it tasted amazing, but I just couldn’t finish it. We threw darts and then played a game of pool (cuz darts and drinking…). I know nothing about him. Except that he’s very “murica!” (ughhhh) and has no kids. I would never pursue anything serious with him. Not sure he would with me either. We kissed and he smelled amazing.

He invited me to the local drive-in movie theater for two movies Sunday night. That would most likely probably involve sex. I’m 95% sure it would. And my next appointment with my therapist is the following day (Monday). I’ve been living such a boring life the past couple of years I’m almost tempted to go. Just to spice things up. Even though I know the morals part of my brain is telling me that would be a very trampy thing to do.

On a side note, I haven’t been logging in as much so I’m just reading back through all of the drama about Prosebox going down and then having been given a new lease on life. I’m going to need it to stay so I can have somewhere safe to admit to all of my wrongdoings.