Sigh in Year 24

I skipped two classes this morning. No real reason other than I was terribly depressed and didn't want to go to a class I hated. I am gaining weight and none of my clothes fit, but I refuse to buy new clothes because then Iwould just get fatter and fatter. I know, there are worse things in the world, but this is my struggle. I am feeling terribly depressed lately, as if I have nothing to look forward to. I'm going to this formal thing on Saturday with some friends, but I tried on 3 of my old dresses and couldn't get any to fit and I suddenly felt extremely depressed and felt as if I'd rather die than go out in public with a dress on. I'm feeling very lonely too. I feel like I'll never find someone to spend my life with. There's this guy I have a crush on that I've never really talked to, only in passing when I'm working. He's soooo beautiful. He had this super long curly thick hair but he got it cut recently and he still looks just as good. I hope that he's at this formal and if he is I will get the courage to go and talk to him. I hope I don't get too drunk. I say that as if it is out of my control. I have an appointment with a psychologist next wednesday and I am looking forward to that. A friend of mine goes to her and says it really helps.