Sometimes there are words you need to hear in Days of My Destiny

I think he really wants to see me succeed, but fails to see that sometimes success doesn’t lie in being the circus clown with the fake smile on your face while you juggle 8 million balls.

Sometimes success lies in putting down 2 million balls and being left with only 6 million. Sometimes it might even lie in putting all the balls down and walking away.

Success is only attainable if there is enough support around you.

I think that to him, support looks like listening when you can.
To me, support looks like actually making time to listen, and letting other things wait.

To him, support looks like looking at you all sad and feeling sorry for you.
To me, support looks like sitting down and looking at the options with me.

He said to me yesterday, “You’ll make the right decision.” Which sounds supportive.
Last night he was chatting with his sister. General chatting, and then a bit about what’s going on with me at the moment. She said that if I’m feeling overwhelmed at this point, maybe I should drop a course.

So this morning he says to me, “You really are juggling a lot of things, babe.” He said it gently, but I can’t help but think… why couldn’t you see that before? Of your own accord? Why can’t you see it when the evidence is right in front of you? Why does it always take someone else to show you?

Why can’t you say: I have to take L to her art class, babe, but we’ll keep talking about this when I get back

Instead of: I have to go

?

I don’t know. I’m tired and I’m overwhelmed and I’m probably resenting him for something that I wouldn’t normally even notice because I probably would normally interpret his behaviour in a healthier way.

I don’t know.