Where things started going wrong for me 😣 in My story

I started year 8 after the bullying thinking that everything will be fine as it’s a new year new start but boy was I wrong. I started having a few stops so I went to my mum and said what can I do to get rid of these she suggested leaving my make up and making sure that I had a very clean face as much as I possibly could so that’s exactually what I did left it off while I was at school only had it on when I went out after school and this is where my skin condition started. I started getting loads more spots and was getting really concerned about it but I tried not to let it effect my school work but my face was horrendous I hated the way I looked I used to squeeze all of my spots because I was worried people would take the piss out of my skin. But that only made things worse my skin condition spreed until my whole face was covered all over my face I was distrort. I couldn’t look in the mirror I couldn’t do anything I just used to stay in my room and make ever excuse not to come out. My mum was concerned so she took me to the doors they gave me two types of cream o used both of them and didn’t notice a different even after 6 weeks my skin was just getting worse so I went back to the doctors and they refured me to the hospital after my mum told the doctors that she has had enough and it was really effecting my self of steem. They refured me and after months and months of taking all type of tablets they discharged me from the hospital as it was starting to get better. I was being bullied left right and centre from the people I went to school with, from my best friend from primary that turned against me ripped me into streds she picked on me bullied me ripped my school bag off me through it everywhere down the stairs used to through bottles of water over me. She was just pure vile. So me being me I just went back to my time out teacher and said I can’t cope at school anymore I’m being bullied and don’t feel safe no more. So the time out teacher kept me in her office as much as she could she worked through some therapy techniques with me as she had studied in that before becoming a TA. The bullying go worse every single day so I had to have the time out teacher walk me to the gate every day and make sure that I was safe on school grounds I used to run home as fast as I could so that I was away from all the bullying and so that I was safe I used to get home straight up to my room and cry every single day with all these people being horrible vile human beings. I started talking to my friend online via msn I no seems very old nowadays but that was all I did. I used to sit on the laptop all day and speak to my friends I used to make up such a fuss about going to school every morning. It was a nightmare that was never ending 😭 I was torturing myself that much that I ended up taking as many tablets that I could possibly get hold of and sitting in my room in floods of tears. My mum found me and said I need to get to school because else she would have the attendance officers at the house and she would make them take me to school. My mum used to think that I was attention seeking and acting out because I didn’t want to go to school but in fact I was terrified of going to school every day to be around the horrible people at school. My mum boyfriend had found the empty pack of tablets and said that I needed to go to the hospital. I was admitted to the hospital under the mental health unit for children. While in the hospital I was monitored over night in case I had a reaction to any of the tablets over night I was lucky enough to not have my stomach pumped. I was referee to health minds at camhs for children that need therapy and help to deal with this issues in my head after the night I was discharged and sent home my mum was extremely disappointed in me and still continued to say that I was attention seeking and only doing this because she spent no time with me. My mum never understood me and never has till this dad she doesn’t understand me what so ever. A few weeks after I was at home still struggling to get to school I developed a huge boil on my face and two shortly followed those so as well as my skin being covered in stops I now had 3 boils on my face so I arranged a doctors appointment and they refured me to the hospital again because they weren’t sure what the cause was of them. As this time i i was just starring year 9 So here I go again hospital appointment, blood tests, being monitored every week on different tablets, Loads of urine samples i literally felt like a guinea pig being tested on and proded. The tablets that has worked the first time weren’t working at all on the second time around so I was put on steroids for months to get rid of the boils and to try and calm the skin condition down. The worse part about being on the steroids was I couldn’t do no exercise. I had to be monitored all the time, i was constantly sleeping because the steroids were making me tired. Ruined my social life completely I was house bound for months on end. I had a visit from the attendance team explained to them that I can’t do to school because I can’t go to school cause of the meds so they suggested I went to a part time school in a community centre along with others ghat couldnt go to school for a number of reasons. I had to go in my school uniform which made me extremely uncomfortable as no one else wore uniform. This was only 3 days a week just so that I weren’t falling behind with my gcses and that I had learnt everything I possibly could about my gcses i was off school for a while because of the steroids. I think it was about 6 months off in total.

The one day it was snowing and all I wanted to do was go out I hadn’t been out in months and just wanted some fresh air so my mum let me go to the park to go play in the snow. So I took my little sister down to the park we followed the path to the end of the park starting to play in the snow roll up snow balls and making shaped in the snow. My sister went to play on the swings which was nearby and I was gathering up the snow not paying attention to anyone near me and all of a sudden someone stood in front of me, i was the bully that had been tortuting me at school she pushed me onto the floor and gathered loads of people from my school in front of me as she was there with loads of people and embarrassed me in front of everyone at school calling me pizza face. Errrrr look at the lumps on your face. That’s disgusting don’t get near her you might catch something then chanting spotty bitch as me I grabbed my sister from the park and headed off towards my house the bullies continued throwing snow at me sticks at me what ever they could find they threw it at me I had girls pulling my clothes trying to drag me around. They followed me to the top of my road my sister ran in and grabbed my mum and told her what they had done to me and my mum came out the house and had ago at them all saying that she will be speaking to all their mothers about this and will report it to school aswell as she doesn’t like bullies I went in went to my room and cried my eyes out knowing that I used to be best friends with all of those girls in primary school 😭 really knocked my confidence the girls waited at the top of my street for ages my mum asked me to take the rubbish out to the bin outside so I did and they were still stood their shouting abuse at me. 😭
I’ve never been able to live that down till this day. It came to it when I came off the meds 3 weeks later and the school wanted me to start going back part time and working my way into it so they gave me a part time table they gave me times that everyone was in lessons to arrive and only for a few hours for 3 days. This was to sit in the special measures room and the detention centre room until I felt ok to go back into normal school life which took another few months for me to get used to it again. I started going out on my breaks at school and had loads of people stare at me as if I was a new student. I had a few nasty things thrown at me. I was able to make friends with a few people that have behaviour difficulties while I was in the special measures unit so I wasn’t alone at break. I used to sit with them, they kind of understood that I had issues so it was ok.
On thus patictur day I thought that I would sit with some people I used to speak to from my tutor on a normal break and I was enjoying catching up with them they said how they had missed me and how I had missed them to. All of a sudden I had a girl come up to me trying to cause an argument with me so I ignored her and carried on speaking to my friends and she assaulted me she pulled my hair punched me through me across the room and into come chairs and the whole school was gathered around to witness this. Two senior teachers ripped us apart and took us into two separate offices. I explained she started it and I ignored her and she assaulted me because their wasn’t no marks on me so the teacher was going to expell me from school. She called my mum into school and said that I was going to be excluded because I had no marks on me what so ever so she saw it as I started it so I was going to be expelled. They excluded me so that they could look at the video tape and see what happened. My mum received a phone call the next day to say that I wasmy my fault but I was excluded for a few days to let the cuisine calm down and for my head to heal their was hair every where i had bald patches where she had ripped my hair out.