Therapy Sucked in Finding Me

I can’t open my goddamn mouth for the life of me. It’s pisses me off and makes me feel so stupid. I’m so scared I’ll be this way forever because it’s so hard for me to just SPEAK. Now I have to wait a week to try again. I rehearse so much, but the second I get there I shut down. I’m so mad at myself. Now it’s like I’m inside my head screaming at myself:

You deserve to be hurt
You deserve to be hurt
You deserve to be hurt
You deserve to be hurt

I do. I really fucking do.