Got to the bar around 10 and the bartender made one STRONG ass drink for me. Usually my drink is between 8 to 10 bucks, this one was only 5. Definitely the cheapest, strongest Jager and ginger I've had in a long time. I went to put some music on and this Guatemalan guy hands me a dollar and says to put whatever I want on. I put on M83 Midnight City. He starts talking to me, obviously hitting on me, in front of Dave. I walk back over to Dave and the guy follows me and introduces himself to Dave and tells us he works at Acapulco's and that if we come in he will give us a free appetizer and that he is the cook. I look to the left of me and this crazy dude is telling the bartender that he is deaf but it is okay because he brought his glasses. Then he asks what beers do you have on tap, when they were literally right in front of his face. He gets a PBR in a pint glass for $1 and then proceeds to ask the bartender for some Tabasco sauce to put in it.....so gross.
The Guatemalan, aka Wilmer, hands me more money to put more music on. I find some dance songs and start groovin by myself. Dave throws his hands in the air and has this what the fuck are you doing look on his face. I keep dancing, laughing, smiling, clearly easing myself into a nice buzz. I was in and out smoking cigarettes, and met some more interesting characters. There was Tim who got shot and lifted up his shirt for me to see the evidence. A pale red scar no bigger than a quarter. Then there was the Yankee. Came here from NY four years ago, still has trouble making friends when they find out he is from NY. And of course, Glenda, who I mistakenly kept calling Wanda and her nephew who were putting a lot of good hip hop on and dancing with me.
Joe B shows up and by this time Dave had switched from water to PBR. Clearly not able to stand being sober in this environment. We walk up a few stairs to the shuffleboard room and they get a game going while Wilmer teaches Glenda and I to salsa dance. He whispers in my ear "You like coca?" I say yes. He says "Come with me. I get you coca". I laugh and shake my head. "No can do new friend. I like, but I don't partake." The shuffleboard game ends and we walk back to the bar area. Wilmer buys me another drink. In fact he buys everyone at the bar a drink. Joe B is getting his ear talked off by Mr. Tabasco, and I am slouched over, sitting on the barstool texting J. We have been texting non-stop. He is a wonderful distraction from Guy At Work who I have not seen or talked to since last Friday. I asked J, "Who did you have stronger feelings for: me or Lauren?" He says me. I blush and smile. I tell him about my crazy drunken adventure at the Sportspage. He tells me about Laffy Taffy and his delicious Asian cooking.
The bar is closing soon. I am stupid drunk. One eye closed to see straight drunk. Joe B is parked behind us. Dave and I get in Dave's car. I ask him if we are going home. He says no in an irritable manner. Clearly not so happy with how drunk I got and Wilmer hitting on me. Joe B gets in front of us and Dave says simply, "We are going to go to Magnolia to get smoked out and you are going to give me road head." Even in my drunken stupor, my jaw drops. He has -never- demanded road head. This was such a turn on. I blasted some music and went down as we drove down the highway. The turns were making me sick, so the head did not last long and I wanted to have sex while driving. He laughed and said it wasn't a good idea so I shrugged it off and started to pass out with my head against the passenger window. We ended up in Magnolia and I clearly was not having any weed. In fact I was running to the bathroom thinking I was about to barf everywhere. I tried, but no luck. Just the spins and no way to relieve it. The boys took forever and I wanted to just crawl into bed and make the shit stop. Finally we were on our way back home. It was overall, an amazingly fun drunken night and exactly what I needed. Too bad I was too shitfaced to get laid, maybe next time.
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