temporary apotheosis in poetry

Sometimes, the ego dissolves and you realize how arbitrary your youness is.
How little difference there is between you and anyone else.
How your consciousness is a drop in the ocean of mind like anyone else.
How connected you are when all the made-up walls wash away.
You’re not alone there in the white hot room because you are the room.
Everyone is the white hot heat and we’re all one together in there.
Then the fears creep back in and you’re a mechanism again.
You’re a you with a name and needs and agendas and desires again.
You’re back alone on the desert island of your ego again.
And it sucks.
Temporary apotheosis is a bitch and a half.
The moment you realize that it is apotheosis, it’s gone.
But still for a little while, the ego dissolves.
For a little while, it isn’t so scary and
I hope those little moments are what’s actually real.
I hang my hat on that and hope.