Self inflicted night shifts in In other news

I feel awful. Like truly dreadful.

I started with a sore throat almost five weeks ago, the week before we went on holiday. I had worked a ton of hours with very little time off and had been burning the candle at both ends due to the engagement so I wasn’t surprised but was glad to have gotten sick before we went on holiday rather than while we were away.

Except I couldn’t shake it, it developed into a hacking cough that kept me up at night, I even took cough medicine away with me. I still felt ill when we came back so paid my doctor a visit last week and have been on antibiotics ever since. I had a week of amoxicillin which did very little, so I’ve been started on doxycycline. Which should do the trick but I’m having side effects - nausea and headaches. I’ve also felt unbearably fatigued, and have spent so much time in bed over the last couple of weeks I feel like I could start to take root.

I asked for night shifts for the next couple of months as we were supposed to start our first cycle of ivf on 8/8. This was delayed by a month due to them not being able to schedule my egg retrieval with the clinic we’ve opted to use. When we first got the call I was disappointed, however in hindsight it’s been a blessing as I can get myself back to some kind of wellness before we start.

I’m just waiting to get my period, then start taking meds on day 16 of my cycle. Should my period have arrived on time we would have been starting on 9/9. However it still hasn’t shown up. I need to ring our specialist nurse for our protocol once my period comes so I’m hoping that it appears over the bank holiday weekend and I can go next week to get our schedule. Literally the most important cycle of my life to date and apparently my body knows and can’t take the pressure!

I’m so ready to get going now, out of the whole process this has been the longest wait we’ve had. I asked for night shifts as we have quite a lot of appointments and depending on my response to meds they might change the appointments at the last minute - it’s just way easier if I’m available in the day. It’s virtually impossible to change a day shift last minute in work, so it’s actually less stressful to just do the nights. I’m just a bit peeved that I’ve done three weeks of nights and our treatment has been delayed! That said I’ve got days for two weeks then back to nights, and I’m already not looking forward to the day shifts. They coincide with me starting meds, (if this period ever shows up), and I feel like I can hide out a bit on nights if the side effects are awful. On nights I can just take myself off and hunker down at the far end of the ward away from the other staff.

I’m becoming more anxious about the side effects given that this year I’ve already developed an allergy to codeine which I’ve never had before, and the reaction I seem to be having to these antibiotics. Work have been good up til now, trying to accommodate me on nights etc but I had to ring in sick last night due to vomiting from the antibiotics and was greeted with a guilt trip from my boss.

I knew she wasn’t listening to why I was ringing in, as soon as I said I was going to have to stay off she switched off to me, and started giving me the guilt trip about not getting cover and how she would have to stay. I’m not sure what she wanted me to do given that I was literally vomiting. I shouldn’t really have been in work the week before with a chest infection given how vulnerable our patients are, but we’re all petrified to ring in sick because of a) the guilt trip, and b) the warning system, where we get hauled into the office and given a warning if we’re off a certain number of times in a certain number of months, even if we’re genuinely unwell.

I need to join the union when I get paid. I’ve been in the union on and off over the last few years but am not currently a member. I feel like with the ivf about to start, now might be a good time to rejoin. I also feel like I may arrange a meeting with occupational health, just to make them aware of the situation and that I may need to take sickness. I will have a low threshold for taking sick time, I need to protect myself and our cycle and if I need to ring in or get signed off I absolutely won’t hesitate to do so.

xx